24 Men And Women On What Makes Them Undeniably Attracted To Someone


I’m fascinated by the differences between men and women – even more so, by each gender’s ability to feel and express emotions similarly and differently all at the same time. So when I asked my friends and followers on social media to tell me what they found most attractive about the opposite sex (or same sex for all of my LGBTQ friends out there), I received a variety of answers from both genders that seemed a little difference at surface-level, but otherwise had a pretty universal undertone.

Here’s what WOMEN said they find most attractive about someone (because ladies first, obvs):

“Their ambition to enjoy life. Not just work…. life. Like to really live each day.” — Natasha S., F, 25

“Their tone of voice. Of course, we all love a great smile, beautiful eyes, etc. But in order to see someone for their heart, we must first find a way of talking to the heart.” — Brittnie M., F, 25

“I find knowledge to be most attractive. It just makes someone so interesting and keeps you drawn in for years to come, not just first sight.” — Caylee P., F, 30

“Selflessness, going out of your way to help others. True compassion.” — Larissa M., F, 25

“I find a person’s mind to be attractive, the way he thinks, how he articulates himself and of course a winning smile.” — Montiyah P., F, 49

“Kindness and confidence make anyone beautiful.” — Hannah S., F, 27

“What I find most attractive of a man is, him being willing and wanting to do ANYTHING to make his mate smile. Even if it is as little of a gesture as pouring his mate’s drink at dinner time, before his own… or even just kissing your forehead for no reason at all.” — Dee W., F, 42

“Trust is the most attractive quality to me.” — Caralee P., F, 27

“Respect for all. I look at the way someone treats all around them. Animals, Humans, Nature, all creatures. We are all equal. We all serve a purpose.” — Melissa F., F, 37

“The first thing I notice in someone is their smile, but also I think one of the main most attractive things to me is someone who has wit/intelligence. I am a sucker for a person who speaks with conviction.” — Samantha C., F, 25

“Other than physical appearance and your initial attraction to them in that regard is you being attracted to them by how you connect with them and the way they make you feel… For me, humor is an attractive quality as well as trust and respect.” — Holly J., F, 27

“Sincere eyes and a sense of humor that can make me laugh.” — Anonymous, F, 52

Here’s what MEN said they find most attractive about someone:

“Intelligence. You can have money, you can have supermodel looks, but intelligence goes far beyond skin deep beauty or money. Intelligence shows me that they not only have the ability to learn, but they have a want to use their intelligence to educate others.” — Jeris G., M, 23

“Selflessness. The ability to put parts of you second to the needs of your significant other or even someone in need.” — Wesley M., M, 27

“For me initially it’s normally a woman’s smile or hair that draws me in… But the most important thing as I get to know them is there [sic] personality.” — Nate H., M, 24

“The way they treat those they love because that’s the way they’ll treat you.” — Brandon H., M, 25

“Tolerance. I’ve realized through my previous relationships that the thing that wears me down the most, sharing my life with someone, is the lack of ability to let things go. I feel that there’s much value in being able to let the uncomfortable parts of life and pressure of life roll off your back.” — Mason S., M, 24

“Physically, eyes. Mentally and/or emotionally, their willingness to laugh both with themselves and others.” — Kris C., M, 28

“The way they look back at you. Can’t really define what it is, but when you’re into someone or they’re into you, the way they look back at you is what makes it.” — Donnie S., M, 29

“A good sense of humor. Nothing draws me toward someone more than them making me laugh.” — Austin G., M, 24

“Their aura. Their presence. Domineering, intelligent, women who command attention and enjoy receiving it is the quality I find most attractive.” — Brandon T., M, 29

“Initially, physical attraction whether people want to admit or not is part of it. No one ever sees someone from across the room and says, “damn, they look like they have an attractive personality.” Aside from the initial though [sic] that really draws me in is someone who is able to challenge me. Not argue with me and be an opponent, but someone who makes me question positively the things I believe in and push myself harder.” — Adam D., M, 28

“If I’m just meeting a girl for something casual or more physical, I’ll pay a bit more attention to how much I find her attractive, both face and body. If it’s for something more serious, then I take personality and how we get along much more into consideration. Attractiveness still has a part to play of course, but I care more about how we get along and care about each other. Because ultimately looks only play a small part in a serious relationship.” — Anonymous, M, 24

“The first thing that I see that I find attractive is her eyes. Eyes and smile are two of the most important qualities.” — Anonymous, M, 28