25 Music Artists And What Their Next Album Should Be Called
By Ella Ceron
1. Katy Perry: Boobs, Beats, Battlestar Galactica
2. Nicki Minaj: Butts, Beats, Battlestar Galactica
3. Maroon 5: Adam Levine & Friends
4. Drake: Make Fun Of My Lint Roller, ‘Degrassi’ Stint, Or Tender Nature All You Want, I’m Still A Freakin’ Millionaire
5. Lady Gaga: Remember When People Compared Me To Madonna?
6. Madonna: I Could Kill You With My Thigh Muscles, So Yeah, You’re Going To Buy This Album
7. One Direction: You’re Going To Sneak A Listen Of This On Spotify Private Session, Find Two Songs Catchy As Hell, And Hate Yourself For The Rest Of The Day
8. She & Him: Modcloth Presents: Hipster Doe-Eyed Night Terrors
9. Miley Cyrus: You Know What Rhymes With Chanel? Ratchet As Hell (And Proud Of It)
10. Ludacris: Greatest Hits: Songs By Other People On Which I’ve Dropped A Guest Verse
11. Mariah Carey: Still Riding High On The Fact That ‘Always Be My Baby’ Absolves Any Of My Current Brand Of Crazy
12. Jason Derulo: If I Use Subliminal Messaging To Make You Remember My Name, I’ll Be Famous So… Jasonnn Deruloooooooooooo!
13. 2 Chainz: Damn, Jason Derulo Stole My Idea
14. Kanye West: The Only Member Of The Kardashian Family Whose Fame You Can Actually Comprehend
15. Pitbull: Sadly, What Half Of America Thinks Of When They Hear The Term “Latino Music”
16. Britney Spears: Your Spin Instructor Is Going To Love The Everliving FUCK Out Of This
17. Backstreet Boys: The Fact That We’re Clinging To The ‘Boys’ Moniker Is As Sad As The Fact That You’re Clinging To The Days In Which We Were Actually Culturally Relevant
18. Taylor Swift: Your Future Ex-Girlfriend (Makes More Money Than You Ever Will)
19. Coldplay: Conscious Unsilencing
20. Pharrell: Greatest Hits: Songs Sung By Other People That I’ve Written/Produced
21. Justin Timberlake: If You Buy This Album, Maybe I’ll Reunite With The Rest Of *N Sync (JK, No I Won’t)
22. Jay-Z: Mr. Beyoncé
23. Kelly Rowland: I Used To Breathe The Same Air As Beyoncé, Love Me Please
24. Beyoncé: Clinton/Knowles-Carter For Co-Presidents 2016
25. Justin Bieber: Oh My God, Please Stop