25 Suggestions For The New Orange


1. Red.

2. Yellow.

3. A leftover third-place medal from an Iron Woman competition that was stripped from a competitor after it was revealed that she was composed of mostly non-ferrous scrap material.

4. Green.

5. Purple.

6. A Manila envelope.

7. Plaid.

8. A piece of fruit with a straw in it.

9. Stripes.

10. A television show about former inmates of a federal prison who now run Newark, New Jersey’s hottest nightclub, “The Asylum.”

11. Mauve.

12. A television show about a fish out of water. Spoiler alert: The fish dies. But it’s not what you think! (He asphyxiates.)

13. Taupe.

14. A plastic cone that was acting as a goal post in a small-sided scrimmage before it was stolen from a travel soccer league called, “The East Coast Elite.”

15. Polka dots.

16. United Nations Blue.

17. A drink for children, and odd adults, containing zero percent juice.

18. Five-hundred pennies.

19. Magenta.

20. Half a bottle of sunless tanner.

21. The bottom of an Irish flag.

22. Whatever’s left over from the Bush-era Threat Levels.

23. Peach.

24. A certain unit of geographical subdivision of a certain West Coast state that contains several married women with an incredibly loose definition of the word “reality.”

25.The Old Black.

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image – audreyjm529