25 Things You GChat To Your Work BFF


Shout out to work BFFs, the most underrated part of the Friend Family Tree. They shoulder a great burden, and share with us the most significant portion of our waking lives. They arguably know more about us than many of our “personal” relationships, and, more importantly, cover for us when we are hungover. The office wouldn’t be the same without them, and GChat is the glue that holds these precious relationships together.

1. “Are we gonna do happy hour tonight??? It’s Taco Tuesdays. ….Taco Tuesdays.”

2. “LMAOOOOO [typed while sitting two yards away from them, visibly perfectly still and emotionless].”

3. “This meeting is sooooooooo boooooooring.”

4. “What should I have for lunch help me I can’t make this decision by myself help me help me help me.”

5. “No, I don’t like that.”

6. “I am so hungry.”

7. “Did you see what [shameless work crush] is wearing today?? They look sooooo good.”

8. “[Complaint about work-related issue that begins with ‘Not to be a bitch about this, but…’]”

9. “….Taco Tuesdays.”

10. “Someone definitely just abused the bathroom so don’t go in there for at least 30 minutes.”

11. “Do you think [coworkers] are gonna think it was me? Should I say that it wasn’t me??”

12. “Do you have a Tylenol/piece of gum/tampon/snack/Altoid/band aid/gummy vitamin/some quarters/tissue/lotion?”

13. “[Says something so hilarious that both of you simultaneously burst into laughter at opposite ends of the office, and everyone stares at you.]”

14. “How is it only 2:30??? Kill meeee.”

15. “Why is it so hot in here? It’s like a fucking terrarium. I’m about to strip down to a tank top and sweat on everyone.”

16. “Oh, great, [coworker who always orders fish for lunch] got fish. Looking forward to smelling like a sock all afternoon.”

17. “What time is legitimate to leave for happy hour? Is 4:30 too early?? Can we both say we’re sick tho?”

18. “I am soooooo hungoverrrrrr.”

19. “I’ve been reading the Wikipedia on Hitler since 9:15, please don’t tell anyone.”

20. “Did you see this? [Shares link and proceeds to bitch with them about it for the next 45 minutes.]”

21. “Why is it so cold in here? Are they really that cheap? Why is [coworker who is never cold] never cold???”

22. “Let’s leave.”

23. “Do you think they serve wine in beer bongs? We deserve it, honestly.”

24. “Throw me your chapstick.”

25. “We should to to the gym today.” [30 minutes elapse] “Well let’s just at least get a salad or something.” [30 more minutes elapse] “There’s this new place that gives you a slice of pizza for free with your beer. Let’s go there.”