28 Things Only Procrastinators Understand
By Nidhi Bhat
1. You know every trick in the book and every illusion involved in making that report look longer than it is.
2. Word counts are the bane of your existence.
3. Your plans are very detailed and impeccably organised but your executions…well there are no executions.
4. You’re definitely gonna exercise…tomorrow.
5. You continuously do record feats – a report that takes 2 weeks in 2 days, the paper due in a month done the night before. And your confidence climbs because you think you’re just getting better and you can do it again.
6. You wanna kick yourself for slacking during the first three weeks of the month before that paper was due.
7. But you know you will do it again, for sure.
8. Which is why you claim that you work well under pressure?
9. It cannot be said that you are someone with no drive/motivation. Its just that you use it in all the wrong ways. Like your drive to finish that report in 2 hours when your buddy has been working continuously on it for a week.
10. You’re used to lowering expectations- when you first receive an assignment, you swear you’ll work for that A. But the night before, a C doesn’t sound too bad.
11. Sometimes, you expect immediate results. “WELL, I finally ran today why do I still weigh the same?”
12. You ultimately do love the feeling when you finally finish something that you have been putting off for weeks and its finally not hanging over your head.
13. YouTube, Netflix, Facebook , Twitter , Instagram , Tumblr , Thought Catalog are all your best friends.
14. So of course any project that requires you to be online is your worst enemy.
15. That fear when you think you really cant do it this time feels terrible and it happens almost every time but you just don’t know why you don’t learn your damn lesson.
16. You hate projects or assignments that have multiple deadlines because that means you cant do all that shit in an all-nighter and you’ll actually have to continuously work hard…MEH
17. You cant decide between sleeping early then waking early to finish a task or sleeping after finishing the task itself because you’re sure that either way, the task remains incomplete in the morning.
18. Coffee and Redbull.
19. You’re constantly trying to submit poor quality work inconspicuously.
20. You hate Sundays because tomorrow is Monday and there isn’t much time to waste anymore and you’re cornered into doing whatever you need to…or not.
21. You’re teacher/boss is surprised when you actually submit something on time. They have to be sure not to die of a heart attack if its on time AND well done (Oh my lord…how?!)
22. You give yourself these little treats BEFORE you even achieve anything or make any progress.
23. Table too messy…cant focus…lets clean first!
24. Ugh phones and their texts and whatsapps and calls and notifications
25. You think about excuses and ways to get an extension or escape without doing it at all
26. You need to give yourself an entire pep talk to will yourself to finally focus.
27. You finally finish the assignment and vow/swear/promise not to procrastinate ever again.
28. But then you do.