30 Socially Unacceptable Things We All Secretly Wish We Could Do Openly
By Katie Mather
1. Being allowed to politely decline hugs.
2. Replying to formal emails with the thumbs up emoji.
3. Not having to make a big hurrah when you’re exiting a party or social gathering.
4. Triple texting.
5. Screaming over a whining, entitled child until they feel threatened by how terrifying it is to watch an adult throw a temper tantrum in public and shut up.
6. Going topless in public when it’s super hot n humid out.
7. Sleeping in class/meetings when you’re really tired.
8. Unbuttoning your pants or loosening your belt at a restaurant after a particularly large meal.
9. Feeling justified in not saying anything to that girl from high school who is in the frozen food aisle at the same time as you, despite the fact you both clearly see each other and can literally feel the mortified tension of impending awkward small talk radiating off of the two of you (but seriously you guys weren’t really that close in the first place).
10. @Ladies: sitting with your legs apart.
11. @Gentlemen: not liking sports
12. Talking to yourself in public.
13. Full-on cuddling with strangers’ dogs on the streets.
14. Shushing people with bad laughs.
15. Repeating outfits. Frequently.
16. Smashing your entire phone when Pandora plays that one song you’ve begged it to never play ever again, but somehow it always ends up on of one of your stations right as you’ve run out of available skips.
17. Openly admitting that you don’t “get” Beyonce.
18. Shutting down people who talk over you.
19. Picking a wedgie in public/whenever necessary.
20. Implementing a citizen’s arrest on website authors who don’t tell you it’s a video instead of an article before you open the link.
21. Saying “no” without needing to explain why.
22. Publicly skipping and/or frolicking.
23. Bursting into tears when you get really, really frustrated or angry with someone.
24. Blasting Nicki Minaj on repeat wherever you go.
25. Kicking people in the back of the knees when they’re walking too slow in front of you.
26. Leaving when you’re ~over~ a conversation.
27. Handing out demerits to rude people in public (shoutout to all the line-cutters, loud-talkers, and anti-tippers of the world)
28. Eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner.
29. Picking your nose wherever you please.
30. Actually being straightforward with people.