30 Things Every Guy Should Have (According To A Heterosexual Girl)


1. A great collection of good quality, hole free tighty-whiteys.

2. Bold fearlessness when it comes to killing spiders and checking for murderers in the dark.

3. A genuine grasp on and care for feminism.

4. The humility to accept derision when mansplaining.

5. The ability to separate upstairs brain from downstairs brain.

6. Tom Ford cologne.

7. A fleshy shoulder nook that he’s not afraid to use for gratuitous snuggles.

8. At least one good, completely platonic female friend who gives solid advice and emotional support.

9. A big ass TV.

10. The ability to cook the perfect steak.

11. The courage to let emotions show (but not too much, because no one likes a weeper).

12. A passionate, die hard love of at least one thing.

13. A brilliant barber.

14. Frequent showers (and zero Axe body spray).

15. A man cave, or a favorite place to be alone.

16. The self control to know when it’s time to put the damn controller down.

17. A solid team of bros.

18. Perpetually clean sheets.

19. Comfort with his sexuality.

20. The God given right to do the worm on the dance floor.

21. The grace not to be threatened by, or ugly towards, things he does not understand.

22. Empathy for people who find life inherently harder than he does.

23. The ability to slay a whole room with jokes (but with an inherent propensity towards dad humor).

24. The courage to do things that he’s been told are “unconventional” choices for him.

25. A hand that will never raise itself to a woman.

26. The dignity to pluck a subtle middle-break in that monobrow.

27. A broad perspective on the world.

28. A simple leather fold wallet (no velcro).

29. An iron.

30. One beautiful pair of dress shoes.