33 Stages Of The Procrastination Virus

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1. Check Facebook.

2. Check Twitter.

3. Check email.

4. Check all other forms of social media.

5. Hey! I wonder if anyone’s posted something new on Facebook.

6. Repeat steps 1-4.

7. Begin whatever you’re procrastinating on. Format the document, organize your study area, etc.

8. Wow! I’ve made progress; I’ll reward myself with one episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

9. Watch five episodes instead.

10. Oops. Okay, now I definitely need to get to work. God, I’m hungry. Can’t work on an empty stomach!

11. Hmmm I’m not really in the mood for anything I have here. Ooooohhhh but Indian food sounds so good.

12. Spend an hour perusing different Indian restaurants online before finally ordering.

13. Study your notes / write your paper / etc. while leaving 85% of your focus on your clock waiting for your delivery to arrive.

14. Food’s here! Can’t study while I eat, might as well catch up on Kimmy Schmidt.

15. Watch another four episodes.

16. Repeat steps 1-4.

17. Sit down to work. You’ve wasted too much time. It’s time to get down to business!

18. Let’s get down to business! (to defeat the Huns…) LOL Mulan is such a good movie.

19. Watch YouTube clip of Mulan.

20. Slowly fall through to the depths of YouTube, until you come to and realize you’re watching I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant clips and have no idea how you got to this side of YouTube.

21. Repeat steps 1-4.

22. Start panicking, because you’ve just wasted five hours and you have no idea how that happened and you’ve got so much to do and you’re never going to finish on time and…

23. Okay, stop. I’m just tired and freaking myself out. Let’s just power nap this out of our system, and get straight to work in fifteen minutes.

24. Sleep for an hour.

25. GOD DAMN IT. I HATE MYSELF.

26. Work uninterrupted for thirty whole minutes.

27. Repeat steps 1-4.

28. Read this article.

29. Cry a little bit.

30. Wonder if your lack of motivation is actually due to a real medical issue.

31. Research the characteristics of ADHD.

32. Realize that you’re just massively lazy, and have all the tools to be successful if you just made a little effort.

33. Guilt yourself into finally working (for now).