35 Clever Responses When People Ask Why You Don’t Want To Have Children 

1. I believe that children are a very serious and irreversible lifelong commitment and that the majority of society is wrong to consider them the default option rather than a conscious choice you make for good reasons.

With that belief in mind I simply have no compelling reason for why I should have children and so I don’t have them, because they should be an opt-in rather than an opt-out.

2. I like sleep, a clean house, and not having to be responsible for someone else’s emotions.

3. Expensive, big commitment, restraining, extra anxiety, and why not have a dog or something?

4. Childbirth sounds fucking awful and I don’t want to put myself through that.

5. I don’t think I’m responsible enough to be able to take care of another person, let alone a child.

6. I don’t like children. People with kids are like, “Oh, I didn’t either, but when they’re yours it’s all sunshine and unicorn farts.” But the same ones have dark circles under their eyes, hang out about once a year and bring the screaming little assholes with them, and constantly moan about how expensive children are.

7. I don’t see myself as a parent and don’t think I’d be good at it.

8. I don’t think this (fucked up) world needs more people.

9. I don’t want to give up stuff like traveling, and I don’t want to be responsible for another human who depends on me.

10. I had to raise my brothers. I got the free trial and want none of that shit.

11. It is my belief that if you are going to have kids you should love them unconditionally no matter what. I have conditions.

12. I have bad genetics for mental health problems.

13. I generally struggle with kids because I’m not good with messes, noise, or patience. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate kids, I’m just not good with them and find it extremely draining.

14. I can’t provide what’s necessary for what psychologists call “healthy development.”

15. I don’t believe any child should be forced into a world where they aren’t financially secure.

16. You know what’s super nice about not having kids? My SO and I can just pick up and leave at the drop of a hat without having to worry about a babysitter or school or whatever the hell else.

Kids smell weird and make things sticky.

Also they’re loud.

Also, for the first two or three years they don’t really do much besides scream, shit, and puke.

And then, unless you’re a total piece of shit, you’re on the hook for at least 17-18 years! Fuuuck that.

17. I don’t want to give my life to another person. It would destroy me mentally and physically.

18. Climate change.

19. Have you ever seen when a baby kicks and the mom’s belly moves?

That shits TERRIFYING. I would fucking scream if I saw that on someone else, let alone being the one feeling it. I hate small children and pregnancy sounds heinous.

20. I am a very private person when it comes to my body and the thought of sharing it with another human and then giving birth to that human in a room with a bunch of people staring and poking and proding while I’m half-naked is terrifying.

21. I have a long family history of pregnancy issues. My mother had to go to the hospital twice a week to get treatment so that she wasn’t dehydrated and starving because of how much she was throwing up during her entire pregnancy with me. And this kind of thing goes back several generations, that we know of.

22. I don’t particularly like babies or toddlers. I don’t know why other people think they’re so cute when they can’t do anything for themselves and they’re always so messy. With babies, you have to change diapers, which is disgusting. And then with toddlers, you have to toilet train and clean up beds when they pee them, which is equally disgusting.

23. I have my own issues to resolve before dedicating my time to a child.

24. This is gonna sound extremely superficial, so bear with me. As a woman who is more fit compared to the average woman, getting pregnant would, in a sense, distort my body (stretch marks, etc). Pregnancy and delivery is beautiful and I’m amazed by my fellow ladies who do it, but personally, it’s not for me.

25. Ehh, it was always pretty self-evident to me; it’s not like I ever thought hard about it. It’s like “deciding that I don’t want a kangaroo.”

I just never really seriously even considered the idea of reproducing and becoming legally bound to a minor in a parental situation and if I think about it then I’m just not seeing the advantages.

26. We love having sex whenever we like.

27. We love sleeping in ALL THE TIME.

28. My grandad fucked up my dad, my dad fucked up me, I don’t want the cycle to continue…

29. My parents were terrible examples of what parents should be.

30. There are so many children out there that don’t have homes. If I were to have children, I would adopt anyway.

31. I like my money and my sanity.

32. I wanna enjoy my life and be free. Have my money for myself and buy whatever I want.

33. Being pregnant doesn’t sound like a good time.

34. Simply put, kids annoy me.

35. I don’t want them. You’d think this reason would be enough.