4 Things You’ll Encounter If You’re Single

No matter what the scenario is, there’s one thing I know to be true about your situation.  You are going to encounter at least one of the four things listed below:

1. Everyone’s a Prospect.  Once you become single, every member of the opposite sex that you speak to, interact with, pose in a picture with or smile at will now raise some eyebrows among your peers.

Who was that guy I saw you talking to in your lobby?  You two seemed pretty smittennnnnn!

What? That was my super.  He literally just fixed my stove.

If a guy writes on my Facebook wall, I get interrogated.  If I have a conversation with a dude in a bar for more than seven seconds I’m asked “what that was about.”  Every single guy friend of mine is now a potential life partner.  ”Have you ever considered dating <insert friend’s name here>?”  

News flash: not everyone I come in contact with is or will be my new boyfriend.  Beat it.

2. The Continuous ‘Are You Dating Anyone?’ Check-In.  If you ever find yourself unemployed, you’ll notice that people will ask if you’ve found a job yet EVERY TIME they see you.  It adds a layer of pressure to an already stressful situation, and makes you not want to ‘catch up’ with anyone in fear of them asking this.  ”Nope, nothing yet,” you’ll tell people a thousand times over.  

Well, it’s the same when you’re single.  You’ll run into a friend and they’ll ask if you’re dating anyone.  Then you’ll see them a month later and they’ll ask you again.  Your aunts will ask.  Your coworkers will ask.  Your grandma’s dog walker will ask.  EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU’RE WITH ANYONE AND IF YOU’RE NOT THEN WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SO LONG.

3. The Set Up.  I’m not complaining about this, but when you’re single your friends and family will begin rummaging through their personal Rolodex to find potential suitors for you.  Everyone you know will rack their brain to think of any single person they know in your age range and will want to make magic happen.

While I’m appreciative of this and do welcome being set up, I’m also a bit wary of it because it can be awkward if things don’t work out.  It’s not really easy to tell your friend or family member, “Hey!  Thanks for setting me up with that guy, but I hated him.”

4. Your Non-Single Friends May Try to Live Vicariously Through You.  Sure, single life has its fun moments and exciting stories and tales of debauchery.  But most times?  It’s not that exciting.  But friends of yours who are married and/or have been out of the game for a long time turn to you to be their source of entertainment.  They want stories, they want dirt, and they want to know all the nitty gritty details of Singledom.  

I’ve often found myself at gatherings with a bunch of non-single friends where the spotlight is put on me to spill the beans on dating/nightlife adventures.  And to be honest, most times I probably disappoint them because it isn’t as fun as they think.

Single peeps: have you encountered any of these?  

What am I missing?