4 Ways I Choose Men Like I Do Shoes


1. Fit. 

In Shoes: This seems like the most obvious one, and really, it comes down to the first impression. Too big? Too small? I’m at the age where I’m not growing anymore, so the whole idea of ‘trying it on’ isn’t as relevant, because I’m not buying with intent of growing another half-size in the next six months (like when I was twelve). With certain brands of shoes, however, you have to consider that they run a half-size too small or too big.

In Men: I’ll occasionally take a risk with a guy who might not fall into my “required” range, just to see if the spark is there. Sometimes you just find someone whose hug absorbs you, and feels like a warm blanket in the dead of winter. A fit that makes you truly believe this is why you exist. You can be surprised. However, more often than not, don’t stray from what you know works.

2. Comfort.

In Shoes: It’s a sad statement, but, at this point in my life, hooker heels serve no purpose anymore. My feet are immediately unhappy and achy, my joints are yelling at me, and I’ve been known to trip in flats (so six inches higher against gravity won’t do me any good). So, when I’m shopping for shoes, it’s extremely important that my feet are comfortable – and will remain that way – for the extent of my wearing them. I like to think that I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but there’s a point where I give up, and no one in my presence wants to hear me complaining, either.

In Men: We all have our fantasies of turning the Bad Boy around, being the one who made him change his ways. It’s thrilling; it’s exciting; it’s…usually a waste of time. While I’ve spent a good share of my time (to date, even) trying to be the one who will eventually smooth out his rough edges, it’s really exhausting – and also mentally unhealthy. I need someone who puts in the same amount of work as me, and someone who will make me feel like I’m worth their time. I want to feel like I can be myself and not have to apologize for any of it.

3. Support.

In Shoes: Being an athlete for 21 years and counting, my joints have been through quite a bit of trauma. So, I need the stability in my shoes that will not remind me that I fractured my back, tore multiple knee tendons, and twisted both ankles. When I walk briskly over cobblestone-crusted streets, I don’t want to feel like my boots are going to give away and I will break an ankle. I also don’t want to feel like catching a heel in the cracks of the sidewalk are going to leave me limping for the remainder of my commute. If the shoe feels like it has accepted the role of the extension of my leg, then it’s an instant sale.

In Men: I can be a bit spontaneous, quirky, weird, and just plain odd at times. If I am dating a guy who can’t accept any of these traits (because I have many, far worse ones I’m sure), then what’s the point? I need to invest my time in someone who can roll with the punches, hit the curveballs, and jump at the opportunities that life presents. And, if I happen to select a new path to go down, the least I’m asking is for an optimistic outlook and feeling like I’m not in this adventure alone.

4. Style.

In Shoes: There’s an outfit for every occasion. And, usually there’s the perfect shoe to go along with it. However, I tend to lean towards the casual-chic-crossed-with-laid-back-tomboy-but-can-also-get-dressed-up-here-and-there style. So, more often than not, I’ll be buying a similar pair of something I already have. They go with my personal style, my lifestyle, and I know I can get good use out of them. Certain women can wear the rocker boots (that happen to be in this season)…I am not one of them.

In Men: Looking back on my current track record, it seems I do have a type. It’s the kind of guy I’m always, 100%, totally into: clean-cut, into sports, lifts weights, and can speak sarcasm. We share common interests, we live similar lifestyles, and our personalities click almost immediately. Sure, I’ve tried to date other variations, but usually we hit a wall where it no longer works – for whatever reason. Some women like a man with a full-on beard…I am not one of them.