45 Things I Want My Future Daughters To Know

1. He always has to wear a condom. Bring your own, because he will try to say he doesn’t have any.

2. You don’t have to wear makeup if you don’t want to. You’ll still look beautiful.

3. If you do wear makeup, wash it off before you go to bed. Try to remember this when you’re drunk and just want to fall onto your bed. You’ll thank me when the wrinkles start showing up.

4. On the subject of wrinkles…don’t stress. Stress made me start going gray at 21.

5. Always wear tights under your dress.

6. It’s okay to be “soft.” All women want to be held. Even your hard-ass girlfriends who claim they don’t like it. In fact, they want it the most.

7. Don’t spend the night at a frat house. Just no.

8. Call me to let me know how things are, whether that’s amazing or normal or terribly awful. I really do care.

9. Take your shoes off as often as you can. Run barefoot on the ground.

10. I don’t care if you love boys or girls or nobody at all, as long as you’re happy.

11. There are going to be so many more boys than the ones you meet your first week of college. Please don’t stop exploring there.

12. If you want to kiss a boy, there’s no harm in making the first move.

13. Men are immature until they are about 40. Even then they still have their moments. Find someone who is worth waiting those stupid moments out for.

14. Say no. Or say yes. Say something. Be assertive in your choices.

15. Do not ever feel obligated to have sex with anybody. No matter what they say, do, or buy for you.

16. If you ABSOLUTELY, MUST send a dirty picture, make sure your face or any identifying attributes aren’t in it.

17. If you’re dating a man who still thinks your periods are “gross,” dump him immediately. He is a boy who has not grown to appreciate or be comfortable with the female body.

18. Pay attention to how a man treats children, animals, and his mother.

19. Be careful about what you eat before going out drinking. It won’t taste as good coming back up.

20. Before 21: Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor, you did this to yourself, so learn how to cope with it.

21. After 21: Don’t mix liquors. Certainly don’t mix liquor and beer.

22. Try to remember to drink a full glass of water and a take a vitamin before you go to bed after a night out drinking. Especially if you’ve already thrown up.

23. Crying is completely acceptable. You’ll feel better afterwards.

24. You are not fat.

25. There is not supposed to be a fucking gap between your thighs.

26. Take naps when you can. Sometimes all you need is a little sleep to clear your head.

27. I don’t care how shitty the dorms are, you’ll miss them once you move out.

28. Grades are important in college, but not as much as finding yourself is. Mental health and clarity are more important than anything else.

29. All bets are off if you study abroad. Go crazy. Tell me as much as you want. I won’t judge, but always know I’m here if you get into trouble. But please, please be safe.

30. We all have at least one pregnancy scare in college. When you have your first one, it’s okay to call me.

31. Your job has never been, and never will be, to work to hold a man’s attention. There will be a man out there who will be absolutely captivated by you and all your effortless beauty. Don’t try too hard.

32. If it is meant to be, it will find a way of working itself out. If it’s not meant to be, fuck it.

33. Listen. Actively listen, please. I don’t mean to me, I know you don’t want to do that. Listen to your peers, especially when they are drunk. You all have things that need to be said and when you do, I hope someone listens to you.

34. Don’t compare yourself to others. Their journey is not yours. You are the hero of your own story and you were uniquely designed to fulfill the destiny set out for you.

35. Get out of your comfort zone at least once a week.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. I know that puppy looks cute, but wait until you’re at least 25 to get a dog.

38. I encourage you to make mistakes. Just try not to make the same one twice.

39. Let it go. (There’s a movie that came out when I was young that will make this line funny, but you probably won’t get it).

40. Be kind. Even to the people who don’t appear to deserve it. You are so very beautiful when you are kind.

41. Just because you are a girl doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a firm handshake and great eye contact.

42. You’re going to do drugs. Be safe. Know what you’ve taken. Stay hydrated. Call me if you get into trouble. I won’t say a word…until you’re sober enough to remember it all.

43. Your friends will always have something you don’t. Life will always seem unfair. Focus on yourself. Life has a way of balancing itself out.

44. I was cool and crazy in college too, I swear. There are Facebook pictures to prove it.

45. Everything will be okay. If it feels like it’s not, call me.