5 Instances In Which Women Can Be Kinder To Each Other
Kind Campaign: what a revolutionary idea. Though this movement for the abolition of damaging societal interactions between females shouldn’t be necessary, it’s drawing light to an issue that’s been both trivialized and sensationalized for decades: girls and women can be inextricably, injuriously mean to one another, and we’ve let it go on for far too long.
It strikes me as somewhat ironic that it took the plugging of a prominent male actor for the organization to garner its present booming attention, but I digress.
Mean girls doing mean things. These behaviors don’t have to be explicit; if you’ve ever been looked up and down upon walking into your favorite coffee shop, “accidentally” bumped in the school hallways or had a vicious rumor about you come straight from the mouth of another lady, you’ve experienced the inspiration for Kind Campaign.
High school is one hell of an example; some of the people I’ve seen these behaviors in are still on my friends list to this day. There was a time that my clothes would mysteriously end up displayed on the school’s hockey nets by the end of gym class. I know insecurity is consuming, but really, if that’s the best you can do you should be true to yourself and the fact that your heart isn’t about that life.
If you find that you’re a person who experiences jealousy to that degree, self-improvement and confidence build-up should be your go-to outlets as opposed to hurtful acts and Regina George antics. Every woman should take a look at what they’re trying to do here.
A quote from the Kind Campaign site for your perusal:
We aren’t asking for everyone to become best friends…that’s simply unrealistic. However, we are suggesting something very simple: to STOP the competition, STOP the cattiness, STOP the hate, and to BE KIND.
Here are five more times every woman would benefit from this movement’s propagation for perspective:
1. As the new girl in school (or at work, or in any setting).
What is it about being new in an existing group of women that sucks so much? It should be a time used to introduce yourself, get comfortable with the other ladies and exhibit a little bit of your character and instead it’s so often spent watching every word you say, monitoring reactions and sizing them up the way you imagine they’re doing to you. This is stressful and scary and we should be more welcoming with one another.
2. When you get too drunk.
Fellow ladies: we should be supportive when another female in our group downs one too many, not bitching about her to anyone who will listen while she barfs it out in the corner. It’s annoying, yes, especially after it’s happened more than a few times. However, if this is truly a friend of yours, the sacrifice of that magic hour between midnight and 2 a.m. shouldn’t matter.
3. After an unplanned hookup.
From the “accidental” one-night stand to spontaneous make-out sessions in the wine bar because 20s, there are often subsequent periods of insecurity and self-questioning: Does this make me a slut? Do I care if this makes me a slut? Sluts don’t even exist, I shouldn’t be having these thoughts, I’m just perpetuating this stigma. Fuck society. Slut for life! And so on.
Point being, the most effective way to assuage concern is to talk it out with a friend, or someone else who may have witnessed your moment of indiscretion. To be more specific, a friend who won’t tell you one thing and tell Olivia, who doesn’t like you, another thing. That friend who will be honest with you and who will legitimately have your best interest at heart. Whomever you just thought of.
4. In the work place.
I’m lucky enough to work with some confident ladies who don’t have time to worry about petty behaviors because being badasses on the regular fills their schedules entirely; every woman should know that, in a place they’re fighting to break the ceiling and climb the ladder as it is, they have nothing more than undying support and love from the other females within that space.
Jobs are important because they get us money, and money means survival. Thank you, capitalism. But you should be doing such a great job yourself that you don’t compare yourself to others; this is a detrimental habit fueled by insecurity and I know that’s not the woman you want to be.
5. On the streets.
We’re all guilty of it: the eye glide from peep-toe to highlights when we see another woman that draws our attention, either negatively or positively. We also know what it feels like to be the subject of an eye glide: Was this attention drawn a good thing, or a bad thing? What is she thinking right now? Fuck society. You get it.
This attention is perfectly fine as long as it doesn’t get so shady in your immediate vicinity you can no longer maneuver those peep-toes; the overarching idea is that we as women need to be more aware of how even our subtle behaviors are perceived by other women. If you contributed at all to another female’s insecurity today, you’re contributing to the problem.
We may not all have the funds to donate monetarily to Kind Campaign, but we all know what the behaviors that inspired the movement feel like. Let’s put a stop to the girl-on-girl hate now.