5 Relationships That Change When You Lose One


1. Your relationship with music. Music becomes your caregiver—you start to feel inhuman when the lyrics aren’t penetrating your senses and outlining your body. Your favorite song becomes a synthetic case that locks in your desire to cry, laugh, and essentially break apart. It unravels your vulnerability and lets you get lost into your own emotional cave. Forgetting your headphones at home is the worst thing that can happen to you. You feel as if you can’t get through a day without hearing the symphony of the song that makes you feel safe, secure. You may adopt a completely new genre of music to listen to—something foreign and unrecognizable. But it’s the feeling of familiarity that starts to sink into your pores, inevitably becoming a part of your life that you can’t let go of.

2. Your relationship with food. Food starts to become your secret admirer. You think about it when you’re bored and sad. You want to experience every morsel and bite that touches your tongue, eating slowly with complete concentrated effort. You look forward to the next time you’re going to eat and grow ecstatic hearing plans that revolve around food. There is a heightened state of bliss and satisfaction whenever you finish a meal, a feeling you wish you could rewind and re-experience. Moments of envy arise when someone else experiences the absolute indulgence as you are imagining your stomach growling with hunger. It’s a crush that you yearn for the next time it’s in your unconditional presence.

3. Your relationship with silence. You have trouble handling the unexpectedness of this relationship. There will be times when all you want is noise—uncontrollable loudness to break through the walls of the discomfort you feel with nothing is heard. You don’t even want to eat, breathe, or sleep in silence. Silence means that you are trapped with nothing but you and your thoughts. You are forced so sit through the moments that were once partnered with your lover. You enter a new territory where meals, movies, and memories are now experienced by yourself. Sometimes you’ll do anything to escape it, avoid it, and make sure you don’t get lost in the recollections reminding you that things are now different.

4. Your relationship with social media. I’m not talking about the groundbreaking transition from “In a Relationship” to “Single” that finally verifies the breakup that just happened is in fact face-smacking reality. It’s the relationship you have checking, updating, and maintaining your presence on every outlet. Your life shortly becomes consumed by this constant routine, slowly driving yourself absolutely insane. You’ll check to see what your ex is up to and would request status updates on everything they are even remotely involved in. You want to deactivate everything or completely disconnect, but there remains an evident fear of not knowing that you inevitably can’t break up with.

5. Your relationship with friends in relationships. If there was some type of device you could wear that would send a jolting reminder throughout your entire body that your roommate was about to send the bed’s hedge board slamming with their partner in the room next to yours, or that the next topic in conversation would be about what they’re getting for their boyfriend/girlfriend for their anniversary, you would pre-order five of these thingamabobs just to make sure you always had one on hand in unexpected situations and know to leave the room. You feel like all your friends instantly decided to profess about their romance only in conversations when you are present. You find this overwhelmingly annoying and try to escape all situations where there might be a chance you are in fact the third or fifth wheel.  You still love and appreciate the support they deliver in times when you are lonely and vulnerable, but sometimes all you want is for them to just pretend, for once, you’re not interpreted as some broken victim of love. 

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