5 Small But Important Lessons About Getting Through Tough Times


1. Someone’s absence is not always your fault

We always internalize the behavior of others and immediately think it’s something we have done. It’s easy to place the blame on ourselves when we don’t see the whole picture. But someone’s distance from you and their failure to properly communicate usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Everyone is caught up in their own little world, and it’s important to really grasp the concept that a person’s absence does not always mean a lack of emotion toward you.

2. A little bit of sadness is okay

Toxic positivity exists, and trying to flush out your feelings of sadness all the time can do more harm than good. It’s actually healthy to sit with your sadness sometimes without any expectation of being happy or the pressure of changing perspectives hanging over your head. It’s perfectly okay to just observe your thoughts and find ways to better understand yourself on a deeper level, even if that means being surrounded by emotions that are less than ideal. Our biggest breakthroughs emerge when we are reflective, and it’s not usually happiness that amplifies this.

3. Never underestimate the power of a single friend

You might feel upset that you don’t have as many friends as you want, or it might have crossed your mind in the past, but quality will always beat quantity. Having a group of 20 friends that you only see at parties will not nourish your soul like one or two friends that have your back forever and always. Even if you only have a single friend who loves you with everything that they are, you are blessed. It’s easy to become caught up in a world where image is everything, but by appreciating the close friends you currently have, you will feel less of a need to seek validation elsewhere among people that only like you on a superficial level.

4. Sometimes you need to run and never look back

It’s necessary to leave things behind in some cases, and you will just know when you’ve had enough. You won’t be the same person you used to be, and there will always be people trying to keep you down to the level you were when they knew you. You need to leave them behind to achieve what you’ve always dreamed of. You need to do what’s best for you, even if it means leaving them in the past. And you cannot feel guilty in the slightest for doing what’s best for you because they would do it in a heartbeat if the shoe was on the other foot.

5. Everybody is struggling with something, even if they don’t show it

It’s quite simple really; just be kind. The people whom we barely know all have stories. There could be someone at the coffee shop tomorrow with tears swelling in her eyes and we wouldn’t know if someone she loved had passed away or if she had lost her job. But we could also see another woman ordering her coffee with a smile on her face who is dying inside. We don’t even know 100% of the depth of the struggles of the people we know and hold close, let alone those we don’t. So it’s always important to acknowledge this fact, and to let it both humble you and make you more aware of your actions. Being kind and gentle will never go in vain; and it’s important to be patient and understanding towards the people you hold dear in your life, but also toward absolute strangers, for you never know what someone is going through.