5 Things I Miss About Being Single (And Why They Were Worth Giving Up)

1. Eating Whatever I Want All The Time

Then:

Like most adults, I work long hours, on top of which I have a daughter, and the last thing I come home and want to do is make a complex and well balanced meal. Prior to current relationship, I made my daughter nice, small meals with all the food groups…. And I ate three day old Outback leftovers or a microwave dinner. And when summer came around and she went to stay with her dad, hello Ramen noodles and tons of saved money. Part of me misses the late night affairs with a carton of Gelato and a bag of Hot Cheetos with no one around to judge my eating habits or health decisions. Okay, sometimes a big part of me.

Now:

One thing you quickly realize as you age is… your body just doesn’t process food the same. A fact which my fiancé has a much firmer grasp on then I do, I still like to live in denial. As much as I miss the binge fests, he keeps me accountable. Not in your face stuff like ‘Don’t eat that or you’ll get fat and I won’t love you anymore!’ more like ‘If you eat that third piece of pizza and the rest of those wings we both know you’re going to feel sick tomorrow and hate yourself.’ I need that reminder, even if for a split second I’m tempted to eat the entire pizza just to prove some stupid stubborn point.

Also, he’s easily a better cook than I am and I’ve actually learned a lot about proper cooking which helps. I refuse to say this out loud though, he’s already much too smug about the whole thing. Humph.

2. Being a slob

Then:

There are two things I hate in life more than just about anything else (hint: they are most certainly first world problems): laundry and dishes. During my singledom I avoided dirtying pots, pans and dishes because I knew they would sit in the sink for at least a few days and my closet was less a place to hang and organize clothes and more a place for a giant pile that required the sniff test to determine what was clean(ish) or dirty. I sound like a drunken frat boy… oh well.

And sometimes I miss just stripping down after work and leaving crap where it fell, ya know?

Now:

Being a slob is less possible when you’re living with another, cleaner, human being. He’s never exactly snapped at me about my less than enthusiastic cleaning abilities but he has said things like ‘the clothes behind the bathroom door are making it hard for me to pee’ or ‘thanks for cooking dinner but maybe you could unload the dish washer the next time I cook.’ As much as I hate it, accountability is pretty important and he’s probably forcing me to start acting like a grown up. Asshole.

And when people come over I no longer have to shove everything in my house in my bedroom and close the door, which is a plus.

3. Sleeping In on Saturdays

Then:

Part of my custody agreement with my ex-husband is that he has our daughter every other weekend. Which usually means that I do some light, lady like drinking Friday night and then a whooooole lot of sleeping on Saturday. Sleep is that one thing that I wish I truly had more of pretty much every single day of my life. Welcome to adulthood, right? Unfortunately my fiancé is one of those creatures that describe himself (willingly) as a ‘morning person.’  Gross, I know. He usually gets up at 6am on the weekends like a sick freak. He does understand I love to sleep in and that I normally don’t get the chance to (up at 5am on weekdays) so he usually gives me till about 9am before he bustles not at all subtly around our bedroom. I will never not hate him a little in those moments.

Now:

Buuuuuuuuuuut, I have to admit that getting up and getting my ass going has had quite a few benefits. Spontaneous trips, lazy quality time, surprising bouts of creative writing done, not to mention he always makes me coffee with this apologetic little smile on his face. And it, again, makes me feel like more of a grownup. I suppose it had to happen someday.

4. Spending Entire Days Playing Video Games

Then:

Ah, the hours I spent playing Skyrim, WoW and a variety of other games could probably have led to my doctorate or several already published books. But still, how I love thee oh video games. Most child-less summers were supplemented with a lot of game play late into the night. There are definitely days (like when I bought the new Elder Scrolls Online) where I would love to merely sit on my ass and do nothing but level a painstakingly designed character. To lose myself in spectacular graphics and interesting story concepts and ignore things like bathing, eating and sunshine.

Now:

My fiancé also enjoys video games but I can admit that he’s probably a little more (okay a lot more) responsible about it. So while it is definitely a fun activity to do together he does force me to like, shower… and go outside, and do you know, real physical things. Again, one of those things that I resent sometimes in the moment, but overall… really appreciate, and so does my failing metabolism.

5. Ignoring My Expenses (Pretty Much)

Then:

I used to work a toooon of overtime and my paychecks reflected that beautifully. Not that I held onto that money for very long because high tech video gaming and name brand makeup. Plus when you’re holding onto you real money that is yours and no one gets to tell you how to use it… things can get a little crazy. I lived paycheck to paycheck for the most part, depressing now when I think back on the size of those paychecks, but I really never gave it a lot of thought. Oh the ignorance of youth.

Now:

I swear my SO has faults, despite you know, everything on this list, okay? But here, again, he’s the thing that brings me back down to earth. He’s not exactly frugal, but he definitely has a firmer hand on his expenses and that sort of thinking has rubbed off on me. I actually have a savings account with real money in it, money that has saved my happy ass on a number of occasions; like when I blew two of my tires or when my laptop burnt out. I sometimes miss going on crazy ill advised shopping sprees but I know that, overall, this new style of living is much smarter.