5 Things You Shouldn’t Know


You shouldn’t know that your ex has moved on

There is no reason to know this information. The existence of their new love interest has no reflection on your relationship. It doesn’t mean they didn’t love you as much as they said, or as much as you thought they did. It just means they’ve moved on. This isn’t an easy kind of knowledge to have because it makes you rethink your relationship at a time when you are trying not to think about it at all. Don’t try to unlearn it, just try to make peace with it. Bury it underneath other thoughts about your own life, and the new page you are about to write.

You shouldn’t know that the world goes on without you

The first time I quit a job I was paralyzed. I knew my employer was going to be crushed and that all the events I’d been working on were going to go up in flames. Surely, it would be impossible for another person to step off the street and pick up what I’d been doing? No, actually. It was an easy transition and the events my replacement finished were fantastic. Reality tells us that everyone is replaceable. The biggest heartbreak in the world heels, and you eventually love someone else. Feelings of inconceivable despair over a person always fade, with time. It’s bleak to think about people moving on after they break up with you or (super bleak) if you died, but this is the strength of humans, to heal, and that is a good thing.

You shouldn’t know how easy it is to lose everything

We need to believe that all the bad things we hear about in the world could never happen to us, it’s a requirement of being able to function. It’s very scary to think how easily everything can change, so we don’t. The people you see on the news are not different than you, less special or watched over. They are simply less lucky than you, whatever disaster struck them has not struck you. The guillotine dangling over your own head will not be visible, either, until you have hindsight.

You shouldn’t know about the other people in your partner’s life

Your significant other flirts with other people. It’s harmless. Even when you’re intoxicated by your partner, attention from other men or women is still a novel thrill. Maybe it even helps get you out of a ticket. It could be that your workday goes by faster with a work wife/husband. These things aren’t harmful to you, but knowing about them can make you sick. It’s best to remain ignorant in this regard.

You shouldn’t know how it will end

We spend our lives–and especially our 20s–trying to figure out life. This is exhausting and sometimes we just want all this “what’s going to happen” drama to be over. We want to read past the spoiler alert. Instant gratification won’t get us where we are trying to go, it’s the lessons that we learn along the way that propel us to wherever our destination is.

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image –Liz Poage