50 Men On The Worst Mixed Signals Women Have Ever Given Them

1. Received a text message at 1:30am from a girl that I expressed interest in to come over and help her rearrange her bedroom. Turned out she couldn’t sleep and just legitimately wanted help rearranging her bedroom.

2. In High School I had a best friend I was secretly into. She invited me over to her parents house after school every Fri. Her parents were never home and she literally would strip naked as soon as the door closed and invite me to join in as well.

I’d comply…then nothing. We’d sit on the couch and watch tv eating popcorn both of us buck ass naked.

After 3 weeks of blueballing visits I tried to kiss her.

Total recoil and then she tells me she’s only into girls.

SIGH

Later that summer she invited me to a family bbq. Everybody there was naked including her parents.

Apparently everyone in that family just liked getting naked.

3. A drunk girl one night once approached me in a KFC and said she loved my hair.

I said thank you.

She then proceeded to chat and called me ‘really good looking’.

I responded (as a joke/ playing it cool), “Oh you flirt.”

She responded, “I’M NOT FLIRTING!” and stormed off.

I collected my chicken and left needlessly deflated.

4. A girl I was seeing in college started talking all lovey dovey on the phone with me almost every night.

The usual. She would stay stuff like:

“So what are you doing tonight?”

“I can’t sleep and I miss you.”

“No, you hang up first.”

“No, you.”

We see each other every day and studied together and went for dinners and I sent her home and a couple of months later, I confessed my feelings for her. She said that’s just weird and that she isn’t looking for a relationship. Then she got herself a boyfriend two weeks later.

5. Back when AIM was a thing, a girl told me about sex dreams she had about me, in explicit detail, more than once. Periodically, she’d take her shirt off on webcam, “cyber” (do they still call it that?), etc.

I’d see her in school the next day, nothing. Never wanted to date, or anything else.

6. We were hanging out in a nature preserve at night. She kissed me and took her top off. Turns out, she wasn’t into me but just REALLY likes attention.

7. She was sending me nude pics. When I made a move she acted all surprised and said it wasn’t like that. Coulda fucking fooled me.

8. This girl I liked freshman year of high school came up to me before a concert, mentioned a part of my shirt had become untucked and then proceeded to tuck it in herself, putting her entire hand down my pants so her hand was on my dick. Afterwards, she acted like nothing weird happened and ignored my now more obvious advances and got a boyfriend not long after.

9. She said she wanted a guy like me. She didn’t want a guy who is me.

10. Girl at work and I had been talking more and more over the prior two weeks, getting increasingly flirty both in person and texts. At work there was a lot of unnecessary physical contact that she would initiate. One of my co workers said “dude, she’s into you. Ask her out” So I did.

She starts laughing, then, after seeing the (I guess) bewildered look on my face, stops and puts her hand over her mouth. Then says, “Oh, you were serious? Oh. Oh honey… I don’t date below an 8, you’re a 6 at best.”

I know, I know, bullet dodged and all that. But still, that’s a heavy blow to the ‘ol self-confidence.

11. I met a woman at a bar, both early 20s, we went back to her place after leaving the bar, we talk and smoke weed. She excuses herself to the bathroom, comes back in tiny tank top and panties, sits down next to me and asks me if I’d like to lay down with her. So we crammed ourselves onto her couch and I held her against me and she kept rubbing her butt into my crotch so I finally made a move, she said “oh I don’t like you like that, I just get lonely and want to feel an erection against my ass sometimes”.

So I got up and left, went home and got drunk with my buddies.

12. I asked a coworker out and she said “yes.” I thought that was a good hint.

Next day she called me and said she only accepted it because I caught her by surprised and she didn’t know what to say, but she wasn’t interested in going on a date with me.

13. Was chilling with a group of friends, and she kept on sitting next to me.

Texted me a lot that following week.

Next Saturday we were chilling again, and again she insisted she sat next to me. We were going to watch a movie and at some point she just started leaning against me until she was basically laying on top of me.

Later that evening I decided to ask her out because all my friends were picking up the signal too

She gave me a kiss on my cheek, and told me she’d think about it.

The next day I got a text with “I’d rather stay friends with you”

14. Asked me to come over at 3 am with no explanation, then proceeded to tell me how surprised she was I thought she meant sex.

15. Had a few drinks at my place with a girl I worked with, after dropping hints and innuendos the whole night she ends up half-naked and literally gyrating on my lap. When I leaned in to make a move she says she’ll murder me if I tried anything.

16. I had some people over at my house back in high school and a girl grabbed me by the hand to go into my room with me without saying much of anything. I made a few attempts at getting things going, but she ended up just falling asleep with me on my bed. I was definitely a bit confused.

17. A girl I knew. She swiped right on me on a dating app, we matched. Apparently that wasn’t an invitation to ask her out???

18. A girl I work with sent me was sending very provocative Snapchats, the naked butt over shoulder pose, hand bra, wet post shower hair over her tits kinda stuff. We talked about sex all the time. Then when I was like, we should totally bang, she was like whoa, it would make work weird.

19. Kept inviting me to go places with her. Turns out she was “helping me cause I looked lonely.” I have never spoke to her again.

20. Girl literally kissed me on the lips and cheeks and hugged me and begged me not to leave her at the bar. She was with friends.

Asked her out the next day and she ghosted me.

21. She started talking really openly about her turn-ons, turn-offs, masturbation habits, described in detail the shape of her vagina, etc etc. Really personal stuff for a casual date between two college classmates.

“Oh you’re not my type though.” Imagine my confusion.

22. She sexted me and talked about our getting married in the future. Turns out she wasn’t interested.

23. A girl that used to kiss me a lot at parties invited me over to her place for dinner and beers, we watched a movie and I obviously thought I was getting laid, I started to approach her and she was really surprised by my initations. I slept at her place after this but we didn’t do anything.

24. We sext’d hard so I got the idea that she wanted me and when we finally met she wouldn’t even let me hug her.

I later learned that she wan’t the most mentally stable person.

25. Sent me pics of her legs from the bathtub. Two weeks later she was complaining to her friends that I wasn’t getting her signals that she wasn’t interested.

26. Classic “girl at the coffee shop”, but we start talking more each time. Gets to the point where she leaves her station to come say hi if she’s not working the front. I’m developing a bit of a crush, but it’s still well within the realm of normal barista stuff.

One day I’m going through the drive through, and she’s the one taking orders. On the way to my car, her tablet dies, but she comes to talk anyway. She gets somebody else to take over the line, and keeps talking with me all the way to the window. Next time I see her, it’s really busy, but I grow a pair and give her my number on a card, and ask her to call me later. Not the smoothest, but it’s my first time sticking my neck out since getting over a long term relationship that had recently ended, and I’m a bit rusty. She smiles and says “thanks.”

After that, for like two months, every time I came through, if she was there, she’d get somebody to take over as soon as she saw me and go hide in the back. Didn’t even get a “not interested” conversation, just a look of terror.

27. She said that I should ask her to the movies sometime. I did. She rejected.

28. At a cruise ship.

A girl asked me to come with her to her room so she could “change shoes”.

On the way to her room I got a semi and softened again like 3 times, thinking it was an obvious flirt.

Nope, she just wanted to switch into more comfortable shoes, and felt she needed company on the way.

29. Was a sophomore in high school. Had a class with a girl who asked me if I thought her ass was boney and proceeded to grind her ass on my crotch for about 20 seconds. She would also always ask me when I was gonna get my license so that I could give her rides home. I finally made a move after receiving my license and she said she didn’t like me like that. Still blows my mind.

30. Was a girl I worked with, she had quit a week or two prior and came in to get her last check and she came and hugged me, we weren’t on hugging terms when she worked there so /shrug, then she lingered to chat, and would stare at my lips while I was talking and she just kept hanging around even with some long pauses, like I should have asked her out or something, but I didn’t. About a week later I get her number from another coworker and we briefly text, I asked her out, she said no….. 6 days later…. I would have preferred no answer at all. Who knows, maybe she was feeling it when she was in there and a week later she remembered what I looked like.

31. Let me sleep over at her house in her bed. Even let me run home and get a bottle of wine and come back to her house. Tried to kiss her and she fucking kicked me out of her house and hasn’t spoke to me in a year.

32. Was in high school and worked a part time job with a girl from my school. She was pretty flirty with me at work. She always asked the manager to take a break any time she saw me go for mine. One time she had me hold her phone and told me to tell her if it vibrated cause she was expecting a text. It did and when I gave the phone to her to check it she jumped up and down laughing saying her grandma is visiting her for the weekend and was hugging all over me.

She ended up asking me on a date to go bowling. I show up and her friend that I’ve never met is there too. She ends up flirting with other random guys in front of me and wondered off with them leaving me alone with her friend. The friend then told me she would never do that to me and asked if I wanted to be her bf. It was so obvious she had been flirting with me the last few weeks just to try to set me up with her friend who far less attractive than she was.

I saw through it right away and noped out of there. Later at work the girl was like sorry it didn’t work out with you and my friend. The flirting stopped and she quit shortly after.

33. I needed a haircut for my friend’s wedding that I had been putting off until the last minute and since it was early September all the places I usually went and could get one quickly were full of kids getting their back to school haircuts. So after a long search I found a hair salon that could take me. The girl cutting my hair was very nice and we were talking about a lot of stuff, some things I thought were more than just small talk like local places we both went to and things we did when we were kids. She also mentioned several times that she was a single mother.

I took her constant mentioning of being a single mother to mean she was single so after I paid and left I thought about it for a while and worked up the nerve to go back and ask her out, thinking she had been sending me signals. When I did she told me she had a boyfriend.

Looking back I think she was playing up the mother part of “single mother” so I’d give her a bigger tip, which I did.

34. Friend in college. We spent a lot for time together. Moved apart eventually. But we would talk on the phone for hours a few times a week. Started saying I love you to each other.

One of her friends where she lives forces her to go on a blind date. She never says anything to me about it after that day. Continue on for months talking and saying I love you. She flies up to visit me. I ask her to actually make this official and be my girlfriend. She says she’s getting married in a couple months to the blind date guy.

35. I’m not a guy, but a bisexual female. I had a girl in my photography class who asked me every day about my life and so I told her a ton of stuff. We got super close and we were best friends for a bit. One time in photo class someone brought up how it feels to be touched for the first time and I joked that I wouldn’t know what that’s like. This girl straight up put her hand in my pants in the dark room and started to finger me and later when I asked her if she wanted to do that more she said “oh no I’m not gay or anything like that” (still got fingered though so jokes on her).

36. I found her in my room in my bed in her underwear at a party at my place in college. Turns out she was just getting dressed.

37. This one girl I know sent me multiple nudes without me asking, but then said she was talking to someone, and another sent me nudes except I asked for these ones, and she even flashed me while we were both in a pool, but she didn’t want to be anything more than friends.

38. Went to a girls place to watch the Olympics. It was our second “date”. She told me I could stay and sleep over because we had been drinking. Her brother and his girlfriend were there so I didn’t think anything of it. It started to get late and I asked her for some blankets and pillows to sleep on the couch. She told me that i could just sleep in her bed with her. I still did not think anything of it. Her brother gave some pajamas to wear and i changed and got into bed while the girl was brushing her teeth.

Next thing you know she walks into bedroom totally naked and gets into bed. It caught me off guard. I was suddenly filled with happiness. I move in to kiss her (we hadn’t before) and she said, “I am not ready for that”. I was so damn confused. I just said “ok” then rolled over and questioned reality until I fell asleep.

39. She gave me head, twice. Then proceeded to say that we were just friends. You couldn’t figure that out by the first time or?

40. Moved to a new town for a job and didn’t really know anyone. I got a haircut and the hairdresser seemed to be flirting with me, and ended up giving me her number. The next day she asks if I want to come over to her place. I’m like, hell yes.

I get there and there’s like three other people with her, and it turns out she was hosting a Mormon Bible study or something and was basically trying to convert me to Mormonism.

41. She had a birthday party when she turned like 15. At some point, she pulled me into her room to “dance alone with me”. She puts on some slow jazz, we start dancing. She even dimmed the freaking lights and lit candles. After a couple minutes I go to kiss her and she freaks out and leaves. My hormonal ass has never been more confused.

42. Back in high school a girl in my class openly told me that if she got the chance, she would have sex with me. She was kinda on the hot side so I tried to make smth happen and about a week later she was grabbing me all over, in-between classes, so I proceeded to grab her as well. She got mad and wouldn’t talk to me for a week. Was left very confused afterwards.

43. Friend from high school and I were hanging out. After talking for a bit, she leaned over and kissed me, and for the next hour we made out with her stroking my dick through my pants. Nothing further happened though. Next time I saw her (a couple days later) she was talking about her new boyfriend (I thought she was playfully referring to me) and then acted completely surprised when I went in for a kiss; stating “I just told you about my boyfriend.”

I was really confused. Haven’t seen her since.

P.S.

No alcohol involved whatsoever

44. I asked a girl to go ice skating with me for New Years eve. She excitedly said, ‘I’d love to!’

A few days out I asked her when I should pick her up. She seemed confused and said that ‘I’d love to!’ doesn’t mean ‘yes.’

I’m not upset about it. I don’t need to deal with that kind of mental gymnastics.

45. She asked me to drink wine and cuddle with her while shirtless. She had a boyfriend.

46. She told me she “liked me” and “would love to be in a relationship with me”, she even sent me nudes. So I asked her out and she rejected me.

47. Usually on Fridays after work I like to go to a coffee shop to catch up with some more work (Yes, I’m a bit of a workaholic). This girl who is about my age (late 20’s) works as a barista there, sometimes she has the Friday afternoon shift, sometimes she doesn’t. Anyways, she was always sort of flirty to me, which I initially attributed to her job persona.

A few weeks ago, she was there at the register with a group of friends and she was outright flirty (you know when a group of friends gets all silly and giggly), the moment I crossed the door they even said “Oh, here comes your coffee boyfriend!”. I played along, no awkwardness at all, it was a fun time; she even insisted I didn’t pay for my coffee (she didn’t take my money).

Couple of hours later, I’m done with my work and I approach her to say thanks; she apologizes in a very cute way, I tell her its cool, and ask her out.

“I have a boyfriend.”

48. Girl told me, “I have a crush on you.” I then asked her on a date and she said, “No.”

49. This happened in my last year of high school. I had a crush on a girl in band – I played clarinet, she played flute. We were both in the first row, so we sat directly across from each other, and naturally looked at each other during rehearsals.

At our school, all the graduating band kids were allowed to write a short blurb which would be included in the program for our spring concert. Anyways, concert day rolls around, and I’m hanging around backstage, flipping through the program waiting for the parents to start arriving. I eventually get to her blurb – her favourite band memory was “looking across at a certain clarinet player”.

Turns out it wasn’t me.

50. I’d been hanging out with this girl for a couple weeks, at the same bar, on and off. We’d flirt, make out, et cetera. she agreed to go on a date with me. Then stood me up. No communication, no nothing. So, I gave up, went to the bar we hung out at. She showed up 20 minutes after I did. With another guy.