50 Questions That Demand Answers


1. Is he going to text you back?

2. If you have sex in a dream, are you still a virgin?

3. Is it tighty-whities or whitey-tighties?

4. Are American Apparel bodysuits made for American Girl dolls?

5. Is having a beer butt bad, like having a beer gut, or good, like having a bubble butt?

6. How do birds learn to fly without bird internet to watch TED talks on?

7. Is hotmennonite4u a good dating profile name?

8. How would a cavemen deal with not having real-time stats at his personal thoughts blog?

9. Is it special when your man cries while making love?

10. What day is Jenny Lewis appreciation day?

11. Should I sext my partner during sex?

12. Where do French men learn to smoke cigarettes?

13. How do U follow someone on Tumblr?

14. What’s the best song about jumping?

15. Why should life after death be fair if life during life is never fair?

16. Do women poop?

17. What is grosser: lotion or yogurt?

18. What is a polyamorous pansexual?

19. How many miles can you twerk in one day?

20. Does a McRib taste different if it’s been in the garbage for a week?

21. How does a television work?

22. Where can I find gluten-free lembas bread?

23. What would Jesus say about straight married people having anal sex?

24. Can an hour go by without a new version of iTunes?

25. Are frosted tips in style?

26. Why do people have websites?

27. Is Kate Upton a robot?

28. Is slam poetry worse than genocide?

29. Is it pronounced sugar ross?

30. When I fall in love, will it be forever?

31. Is my life a waste since Jenny Slate is already married?

32. Would you rather only play duck duck goose during your free time for the rest of your life or never be able to kiss the one you’re in love with ever again?

33. Did Drake grow up in Guatemala or something?

34. Would you rather have a really nice butt or a really nice car?

35. If I subtweet, must I also cry myself to sleep?

36. Which mental problems does someone who is ‘seeing someone’ on OkCupid have?

37. Would Prince feel more at home in a kangaroo’s pouch or in a house?

38. Which word by Tao Lin is the best word he ever wrote?

39. Will anyone be at my funeral?

40. Do mushrooms taste like semen or does semen taste like mushrooms?

41. Why is armpit hair sexy?

42. Can some people bear more heartbreak than others?

43. Is I Kissed Dating Goodbye as good as Atlas Shrugged?

44. Is everyone conspiring against you to be the greatest of all-time at whatever it is you want to be the greatest of all-time at?

45. Is Mark Driscoll the Antichrist?

46. How do moms learn to text?

47. Is Edward Snowden hot?

48. Are butts the best things God made?

49. Should men have feelings?

50. Is everything as you imagined it would be?

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