50 Tweets From #RedneckASong That Aren’t, Like, Racist Or Classist Whatsoever
By Jim Goad
For all the hollow yip-yap you hear from chicken-chested urban white progressives about how we’re all human and how stereotyping is wrong and how poverty is the result of injustice and how the ultimate evil that any human group can commit is to demonize and dehumanize the cultural “other,” you never hear them shut the fuck up about how stupid and subhuman and detestable poor rural white Americans are.
Why, it’s almost as if they can’t help themselves. It’s almost as if any group needs to shit on some group of outsiders just to define themselves and maintain group identity.
The hashtag #RedneckASong is currently exploding on Twitter. In case it wasn’t self-explanatory, the premise is that you take a popular song and give it a new title in a way that demeans, stereotypes, and bashes those benighted rural whites whose chief crimes, apparently, are their skin color, economic status, and the unforgivable ideological sin of refusing to think the way that relatively rich white urban progressives insist they should think.
Many of these Tweets bash “rednecks” for being religious, despite the fact that black Americans are America’s most religious group. There are plenty of jokes about inbreeding, despite the fact that the most inbred groups on Earth are all in the Middle East. There are endless jokes about incest, despite the fact that government statistics show that black women are nearly twice as likely to be victims of childhood sexual abuse than white women. There are scads of jokes about obesity, again despite the fact that blacks and Hispanics are more likely to be obese than whites.
There are also tons of jokes about poverty and criminality and illiteracy and unemployment and teen pregnancy rates—ones the same people would NEVER make if they applied to blacks, statistics be damned.
What you may notice is that, at least judging by the avatars, all of the people telling these jokes are white. I’ve said it for years—bashing rednecks has nothing to do with “racism,” because poor whites are far more likely to be descended from indentured servants than from slave owners. As I see it, this is a sick form of guilt-projection on the part of smarmy, richer, urban whites who are more likely to actually be living on whatever wealth was generated from black labor. Making fun of “rednecks” is a social-status game among whites—classism masquerading as moral superiority. In the end, this is white-on-white class war that has very little to do with other racial groups.
Check my privilege? FUCK you—I’m descended from rural Vermont hillbillies. Check your goddamned class privilege, you spoiled white snots.
1.
#RedneckASong I’m beautiful In a way,and I hate all the gays..I’m on the wrong track baby,I was raised that way” — Deborah ^–^ (@LGMonsterSoxfan) June 5, 2014
2.
#redneckasong Its a Good Day for a Shotgun Wedding! — Connie’s Comedy (@Connies_Comedy) June 5, 2014
3.
I Can Pee Clearly Now….The pain is gone #RedneckASong @midnight — MellyHatchet (@MellyHatchet) June 5, 2014
4.
My chick bad My chick hood My chick do stuff any 1st cousin would #redneckasong @midnight — Asia (@Prescribed_Naps) June 5, 2014
5.
Whiter Shade of Trash #RedneckASong @midnight @nerdist — Paul Armstrong (@wiseacre) June 5, 2014
6.
Counting Stars (Cause A Ternader Done Taken Off Our Roof) #RedneckASong @midnight — Jed Finley (@JediMaster941) June 5, 2014
7.
Dancing in the Dark Because I Live Somewhere so Remote There’s No Electricity #RedneckASong — Sacha Jones ⚾ (@SachaJones93) June 5, 2014
8.
Its Hip To Be Pear (shaped) #redneckasong @midnight — Tommy (@wisedoesmatter) June 5, 2014
9.
#redneckasong Smells like teen pregnancy @midnight — Angela Fair (@SouRgrapeS417) June 5, 2014
10.
Do You Kiss (On the First Family Reunion?) #RedneckASong @midnight — Brent Terhune (@BrentTerhune) June 5, 2014
11.
I Kissed a Goat and I Liked It #RedneckASong @midnight — Lucia Fasano (@lucia_fasano) June 5, 2014
12.
When I See You Smile (There Aren’t Any Teeth) #RedneckASong @midnight — Evil Genius (@EvilGeniusEnt) June 5, 2014
13.
Septic Tanks For the Memories #RedneckASong @midnight — Keith Bergman (@KeithBBergman) June 5, 2014
14.
Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Truck Stop Strippers #redneckasong @midnight — Jon D.A. (@GrouchoMarxist) June 5, 2014
15.
She Blinded Me With Science, Logic, & Other 4-Letter Words –> #RedneckASong #p2 pic.twitter.com/PQsDwTGrGh — Eric Wolfson (@EricWolfson) June 5, 2014
16.
#redneckasong It Really Matters If You’re Black or White @midnight — United We Geek (@uwgpod) June 5, 2014
17.
Losing Debates About My Religion @midnight #RedneckASong — Tyler Morrison (@tylermorrison1) June 5, 2014
18.
#RedneckASong I love you, you love me were a inbred family with a great big moonshine jug and a cig from me to you won’t you say hee haw too
— vincent armone (@poetarmone) June 5, 2014
19.
Should I stay or should I go, to your parole hearing #RedneckASong @midnight — vance sanders (@vancesanders) June 5, 2014
20.
We don’t need no edumacation… #RedneckASong — Inglorious Bastiat (@Southern_PUNdit) June 5, 2014
21.
Hit The Baby One More Time @midnight #redneckasong — Nick Vatterott (@nickvatterott) June 5, 2014
22.
Blurred (Blood)lines #redneckasong @midnight — Nacho (@amynacho) June 5, 2014
23.
What’s Your Age Again? #RedneckASong @midnight — Jonathan Diener (@jonodiener) June 5, 2014
24.
Crazy Little Thing Called Lice #RedneckASong @midnight — Tommy Campbell (@MrTommyCampbell) June 5, 2014
25.
Jailbait Rock #redneckasong @midnight — Nancy Lee Grahn (@NancyLeeGrahn) June 5, 2014
26.
Stairway To The One And Only God’s Heaven #redneckasong @midnight — Jason Gore (@sonicdork) June 5, 2014
27.
Live and Let Diabetes #redneckasong @midnight — Zelda Zonk (@tikibetty) June 5, 2014
28.
Hit Me Baby One More Time Because We Both Lacked Guidance from Parental Figures as Children #redneckasong — Garret Evans (@garretevans) June 5, 2014
29.
She Donates Plasma For the Money #redneckasong @midnight — Carl G. (@cgierhan) June 5, 2014
30.
🎶I’m shaving mama’s back…her brother/husband won’t know how to act🎶 #redneckasong — Number 55 (@256yall) June 5, 2014
31.
Killing in the name of anything. #redneckasong @midnight — IKILLYA (@ikillya) June 5, 2014
32.
Call Me Maybe, Or Write Me Instead, Cuz Muh Phone Might be Shut Off Agin #RedneckASong @midnight — Sean Conroy (@seanconroy) June 5, 2014
33.
Comfortably Dumb #redneckasong @midnight — Brian Chick (@leftbutton) June 5, 2014
34.
Truly Madly Illiterately #redneckasong @midnight — Guy Branum (@guybranum) June 5, 2014
35.
Momma said knock you up #redneckasong @midnight — Mike Glazer (@GlazerBooHooHoo) June 5, 2014
36.
Sister/Wife Christian #RedNeckASong @midnight — Matt Oswalt (@Puddinstrip) June 5, 2014
37.
“I Wanna Be Bad at Parenting” by Willa Ford F150 #RedneckASong @midnight
— Bobby Castner (@RJCIIIEsquire) June 5, 2014
38.
Fat Bottomed Everybody #RedneckASong @midnight — Peter Moses (@PartsTheRedSea) June 5, 2014
39.
#RedneckASong tornado tore down my trailer and put it in a parking lot ooooolalala — THEJUNKMAN (@ChuckJuntunen) June 5, 2014
40.
American Idiot #RedneckASong@midnight — Chris Walker (@gratefulwalker1) June 5, 2014
41.
#RedneckASong if I had a job I’d tell you to take this job and shove it — THEJUNKMAN (@ChuckJuntunen) June 5, 2014
42.
Son of a Preacher man (touched me in my no no place) @midnight #redneckasong — J.DeL (@nthensome) June 5, 2014
43.
If I had a million food stamps… #RedneckASong — Joel Cole (@drjoelcole) June 5, 2014
44.
Another One gums the Dust #RedneckASong — Chris Walker (@gratefulwalker1) June 5, 2014
45.
#RedneckASong dont you forget about me, or your child support — Steven Brooks (@Biggie_Brooks11) June 5, 2014
46.
Change is gonna come! I gave u $3 and that bottle of Crazyhorse costs $1.80 #RedneckASong — James Wirth (@Jamisonwirth55) June 5, 2014
47.
#RedneckASong @midnight The power of love….between closely related individuals — philofthenorth (@Philofthenorth9) June 5, 2014
48.
I’m On the Edge (of the Poverty Line) #RedneckASong @Midnight — Nick Peterson (@Kitofoxkun) June 5, 2014
49.
Crazy Little Thing Called Illiteracy #RedneckASong @midnight — Zach (@DingleberryGary) June 5, 2014
50.
Oxxxxxxx_xyContin, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains!
#RedneckASong— JMCole (@drjoelcole) June 5, 2014