51 Signs You Are PMS-ing Way Too Hard Right Now


  1. You wake up crying.
  2. You go to bed… crying.
  3. After you get out of bed, you want to get right back in bed for the rest of the day week month year.
  4. Someone says something that would not ordinarily bother you and it bothers you, constantly, for the rest of the week/your life.
  5. You go right from disliking someone to contemplating homicide.
  6. You start laughing and you end up blubbering while your tears form a puddle on the floor.
  7. Your body feels like it is about to walk off without your soul intact.
  8. When people ask you how you are, you simply reply, “I’m sick.”
  9. You look in the mirror and hate everything that you see.
  10. All of the sudden, you cannot stand being single and say things like, “I’M GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.”
  11. You can’t watch a movie because you know that it will make you cry, even if it is about the life cycle of a tree.
  12. All you want to eat is sugar and salt.
  13. When people try to cheer you up, you just glare back at them until they shy away.
  14. Cabin fever becomes a reality and you feel claustrophobic even though you are outside and nothing is surrounding you.
  15. You start feeling nostalgic about weird things, like the time that you ran around naked in your front yard when you were 5.
  16. Quitting your job — or dropping out of school to become a shaman — seems completely reasonable.
  17. You feel too many emotions to form words, so you just moan and make weird sounds to convey how you feel.
  18. Impulsiveness becomes your best friend.
  19. You want to spend all of your money on random things because You. Just. Do. Not. Care. Anymore.
  20. To make it obvious that you no longer care, you sprawl yourself on the floor, in the bathtub, or on the table for all to see.
  21. You imagine that your life is a moody indie flick and you take pictures with that thought in mind (bonus points if you make them your profile picture).
  22. Trying to contain yourself as you start to throw your phone or computer out the window becomes impossible.
  23. When people offer you advice, you respond by either crying or saying, “Yeah? Well, you don’t understand me.”
  24. No one understands you.
  25. Things that never appealed to you before start to appeal to you, like beef jerky, online dating, or anything with fringe on it.
  26. “I think I’m going to become a more spiritual person” is your new catchphrase.
  27. You use the word “literally” every other word.
  28. You literally feel that you need more feng shui in your life. Literally.
  29. Reality television cannot even make you feel better about yourself.
  30. Even though it is impossible, you start to think that you are pregnant and state, matter-of-factly, “I’m going to have the second Immaculate Conception.”
  31. Girl Scout cookies. You want them right this second. Even those weird coconut ones that you always hated.
  32. Every one of your sentences starts with, “Listen…” or “I just don’t understand why…”
  33. All of your decisions in life seem wrong. Dead wrong. Like that time you bought light-up sneakers for the first day of preschool.
  34. You want to adopt every animal in sight. Nothing is off limits, including that gopher thing on the side of the road.
  35. Weird ensembles feel right on you. Example: rain boots, a wedding dress, green lipstick, and a tiara.
  36. When people don’t message you back right away, you consider that a personal offense and you vow that you will never talk to that person again.
  37. Everything out of the ordinary feels like a sign from God that you will soon find your life’s purpose. Specifically, fortune cookies and those inspirational sayings on tea bags definitely apply only to you.
  38. You want to throw out everything that you have ever loved and start fresh.
  39. You have a sudden urge to sit out on your front porch and contemplate the meaning of life.
  40. Your mom calls. You answer the phone saying, “Mom? I think I’m dying.”
  41. That man looked at you the wrong way. There must be something wrong with you. Are you not good enough for him?
  42. A ratty blanket, men’s knee socks, milk chocolate, and tea become your lifetime essentials.
  43. Feeling sentimental, you seek out old schoolmates and apologize for random things that you did ten years ago.
  44. Everything that WebMD tells you becomes 100% accurate. You don’t need a doctor to tell you how to live your life.
  45. You make an appointment with a therapist, psychic, herbalist, and nutritionist because you want to try new things.
  46. You post an inspirational quote every five minutes on all of your social media platforms. Not for your followers, but for yourself.
  47. It’s too cold, so you start looking at houses in the desert.
  48. Concepts like “happiness” and “calmness” no longer exist.
  49. You have the sudden urge to sit on someone’s lap and have them braid your hair.
  50. Clearly, your pets are the only ones who truly love you.
  51. If anyone mentions the word “hormonal” around you, they become Public Enemy #1.