52 Generic White Guy Names And What They’re Like In Bed
1. Sam: Only texts you when he’s drunk. Immediately asks for nudes even though he hasn’t talked to you in 3 months.
2. John: Won’t stop saying, “Wow, your pussy is so wet.”
3. Andrew: Never wants to use condoms.
4. Nick: Texts you for 3 weeks hyping up his dick. When you finally hook up, you can’t even tell it’s in.
5. Bryan: Keeps his socks on.
6. Brian: Likes feet.
7. Jack: Thinks liking doggy style makes him kinky.
8. David: Hairy chest, but VERY enthusiastic about oral.
9. Dave: Blessed with a big penis. Not blessed with stamina.
10. Chad: Brags about “taking” a girl’s virginity. Thinks female orgasms are fake.
11. Ryan: Says some really weird shit during it. Not dirty talk. Just…weird stuff.
12. Aaron: Honestly thinks the back of his car is a good place to have sex.
13. Jeff: Is obsessed with doing it outside.
14. Ian: Wants you to dress up like some anime character.
15. Rob: Sweats so much.
16. Ben: Most vanilla man you’ve ever met.
17. Austin: Mentions how much he bench presses during foreplay.
18. Will: Consistently a solid B+.
19. Spencer: Keeps trying to convince you to do a threesome with your sister.
20. Cameron: Plays guitar and thinks this means he automatically knows how to touch a woman.
21. Jeremy: Always expects a blow job. Never reciprocates.
22. Matthew: Great in bed. Mean afterwards.
23. Dylan: Sticks a finger in your asshole without asking first.
24. Dan: B-O-R-I-N-G.
25. Justin: Overly confident.
26. Adam: Closet freak.
27. Mike: Talks about how many girls he’s slept with when literally no one asked.
28. James: Wants to be called Daddy.
29. Nathan: Kind of adorably goofy in bed. Makes you feel comfortable.
30. Michael: King of Missionary.
31. Jesse: Wants to talk about conspiracy theories as part of pillow talk.
32. Travis: Insecure if you don’t moan every two seconds.
33. Kyle: Spits on your vagina. Is offended when you offer lube.
34. Jordan: Thinks sex is done as soon as he finishes.
35. Ross: Aw, honey. You tried.
36. Jared: Needs porn playing in the background.
37. Matt: Has the weirdest O face of all time.
38. Blake: Asks you to get HIM a glass of water afterwards.
39. Alex: Mediocre. Like, you can’t complain but you’re also not writing a stellar Yelp review.
40. Jim: The guy you always forget when you’re trying to remember who you’ve slept with.
41. Steven: The safe choice. Good, but not great.
42. Stephen: Has unresolved Mommy Issues. Might cry during the act.
43. Trevor: Brings up his ex when you’re with him.
44. Chris: Thinks it’s still cool to leave hickeys.
45. Christopher: Murders the vag. Says he’s gonna call. Never talks to you again.
46. Ethan: Will bring you to orgasm, but also never let you forget how “good he is”.
47. Kevin: Sweet as apple pie. Keeps asking if you’re okay.
48. Peter: Seems chill af, but secretly wild. Will fuck you against a wall without breaking a sweat.
49. Jake: Only good when he’s drunk.
50. Jacob: Is religious and wants to wait until he’s married. Still wants you to do anal.
51. Todd: Who?
52. Garrett: Likes to play The Chainsmokers during.