6 Unexpected Things We Learn From Our Mothers
By Shawn Binder
How To Treat A Lady
No, I don’t mean holding the door open for her or waiting till the second date to kiss her goodnight. My mother taught me what it meant to have dignity not only for myself, but for the women around me. She taught me just how human we all are, and how fragile we all are. By understanding this, I was later able to fully grasp that treating a lady like a lady was all about speaking, interacting, and appreciating that both sexes we’re magnificent in their humanity and should be treated as such.
Your Values
Like it or not, we are stuck with the mothers life hands to us. Sure, we find mother figures in the women who are kind and guide us throughout our lives…but there is something about a mom that provides the blueprint for all the values we take with us. As we grow up, our mothers teach us about friendship, and spiritual beliefs (or lack there of) . We subconsciously note all these values our mothers surround themselves with, and then pick and choose which ones we take into adulthood. I have friends with mothers who go to church every single Sunday who decided they were atheists. My mother sends me The Secret emails every day. We have the power to choose how we are, but mothers are there to provide the very list of attributes we can pick from.
What Love Looks Like
When my parents separated, my mother never shed a tear in front of me…but elected to do so behind closed doors. When I told her I was gay for the first time, she cried because she worried the world would be cruel to me, and didn’t care that I would never marry a woman and that her probability of having grandchildren from me was diminished. She loves me passionately and powerfully simply for existing, which taught me that in the end that really is all there is to love. There is no laundry list of reasons to adore someone, it simply is an emotion we must accept.
How To Be Brave
When I was nineteen my mother called me outside a lecture hall to tell me she was about to go into surgery to have seven inches from her back removed due to cancer. There was no warning, or preparation that could have eased my fears as she told me over the phone that the doctors wanted to remove a large portion from her to test for skin cancer. She told me the reason she hadn’t mentioned this earlier is that she didn’t want me to work myself up over it. She told me she would be fine and to call her tomorrow to check up on her. True bravery, as my mother taught me, is understanding the value of your life, and understanding how that weaves into the scope of other’s. By considering my fears above her own, she was showing me what it meant to be strong for someone else. She taught me bravery isn’t necessarily jumping into a fight to protect someone else, but that it stems from a true calculation of other’s and how we can affect them.
What Beauty Looks Like
Beauty isn’t makeup or being skinny or even being overly confident. My mother taught me that beauty is from respecting yourself enough to know just how valuable your life is. She taught me that clothes eventually disintegrate and your skin will eventually begin to crinkle and age. Beauty, as she always tells me, comes from knowing your body and accepting exactly who you are meant to be.
How To Take Care Of Yourself
Sure, mothers usually teach their children how to bathe and dress and clean themselves..but what no one usually brings up is how mother’s teach us the true meaning of caring for our bodies. For years, mine worked multiple jobs and came home complaining of how much her feet hurt her. I wished I was able to take her pain away, but being unable to I quickly learned the value of a good night’s rest, and how putting good foods into your body can make an incredible improvement on your well being.