6 Ways A Woman Accidentally Sabotages Her Relationship

1. She nurtures a “friendship” with another man.

Every committed woman is bound to be hit on by another man at some point, especially if she’s particularly charming or good-looking. When this happens, it’s okay for her to be polite and to engage in small talk with the man who flatters her. It’s also okay for her to get excited that another guy thinks she’s gorgeous. But when she decides to exchange phone numbers and justifies her actions by claiming “he’s just a friend,” she’s asking for trouble. As time passes, she’ll eventually begin to develop an emotional bond with this other man. She might start deleting his inappropriate messages after replying to them on the sly, lock her phone with a password, and entertain inappropriate thoughts about him, even when she’s in the presence of her boyfriend. And when she argues with her boyfriend, guess who she’ll turn to?

2. She routinely gets too drunk.

Girls night out! It’s normal for a woman to have some fun with her friends and to get nice and tipsy while she’s at it. A cute guy might introduce himself and offer to buy her a drink, which she’ll naturally accept. Then he might flirt with her, and the booze might encourage her to flirt back. A few drinks later, if her suitor feels comfortable enough to put his hand on her side and the alcohol tell her it’s a good idea to be seduced, a line might be crossed. If a woman routinely allows herself to become vulnerable through boozing, the bad decisions she makes as a result can’t be qualified as accidents. Mistakes made when wasted are flat-out errors, especially when such mistakes become a pattern.

3. She can’t stop making comparisons.

When a woman constantly compares her relationship to that of other couples, it’s frustrating. Remarks like, “Why can’t you be as affectionate as Matthew?” are incredibly insulting. That doesn’t mean that women shouldn’t encourage their boyfriends to improve in certain areas, but that making demeaning comparisons isn’t the most effective way to achieve that end.

4. She gives into the green monster and becomes overly suspicious.

During the initial courting phase, a man will likely shower the object of his affection with cute messages throughout the day. Whether at work or in class, he’ll find a way to text the woman he’s wooing constantly. It’s understandable that a woman might grow disappointed as time goes on and the level of attention she receives starts to wane. But the early relationship phase is never sustainable. That doesn’t mean that a man loves his girlfriend any less as their coupledom progresses, but that the nature of the relationship evolves, which is a good thing. So when a woman goes on and on about how sad she is that things have deteriorated and lets jealousy get the best of her because she suspects something’s gone wrong, her behavior isn’t just unfounded—it’s potentially destructive to the bond.

5. She complains constantly to her bestie.

No one needs to report all the negative details of their relationship to their best friend, no matter how close they are. Especially when a woman fails to mention any of the good stuff, her bestie is bound to get the wrong message and then potentially provide misguided advice. If a woman feels the need to vent every single time something goes wrong with her boyfriend, the negativity will accumulate in the mind of her best friend, who is bound to encourage her to move on. The danger of sharing too much of the bad stuff is that a woman gives her best friend a warped impression of her relationship that gets reflected back to her through her best friend’s warped advice.

6. She becomes complacent.

A man enters into a relationship with a woman because he likes spending time with her above all—her personality is at the core of why they get along and why they’re together in the first place. But he probably also likes the way she looks in a stunning, sexy dress. Truthfully, men enjoy reveling in the knowledge that other guys are thinking “damn dat girl look good” about the woman they’re dating. So if a woman goes from taking care of herself—eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly—to barely bothering to wash her hair, it’s disappointing. It’s not that a man can’t appreciate his girlfriend in her pjs, but that he will always want her to look sexy on occasion.