6 Ways Your Ex Shapes Who You Are


Breaking up sucks for everyone, whether you got sick of the relationship and you ended it or if you were the one who got broken up with. But no matter how you feel about your current ex, there are a whole host of things you take with you from relationship to relationship, things that shape the person you are. Whether it’s habits learned or new foods discovered, our exes play a huge role in the people we will eventually become. Here are six ways your ex impacts your future self.

1. They Help You Come To Terms With Your Bullshit

Relationships end for all sorts of reasons. Things probably went south because of something you did, something they did, but usually it’s because of what you both did to each other. No matter how your relationships end, one of the ways your ex shapes your future self is that they help you realize your mistakes. You lost the man of your dreams because you have really poor communication skills, which made him feel like you were pushing him away even though you totally weren’t trying to do that. Or you know, something. To avoid repeating the past you will be SO FUCKING COMMUNICATIVE in your next relationship. Like you won’t be able to stop communicating.

2. You Will Pick Up Their Habits

When you’ve been in a relationship with someone for so long you will inevitably internalize their habits. Maybe they eat certain foods, you’ll never stop eating them. I mean, it’s not like they should get custody of the food. Or you know how when you’re with someone and new people meet you and they are all, “Omg u guys are so similar!!!”? Well, this is that. Maybe your ex laughs a certain way, and when you find your sad newly single self laying in bed in pitch black eating Sour Patch Kids and binge-watching Netflix, you laugh at something and you hear yourself sound exactly the way he laughed and you get sad again.

3. Everything Will Remind You Of Them

Well, not everything everything. Just the little stuff you guys did together or the little inside jokes you had. You can’t walk into a thrift or vintage store without thinking about him. When you’re riding with your cousin to Chicago and drive past Pawnee, Indiana you take a picture of the sign and think about him because he loved Parks and Rec. You don’t text him the photo, though, because if he doesn’t respond it’ll only make you feel worse worse.

4. You Will Wear Their Socks

Being in a relationship is like the laundry bin you two share together: everything gets thrown in and is all one big, messy pile when everything is going well. But when you break up, you have to get your clothes and he or she has to get theirs. Of course, separations aren’t so straightforward, and one day you will discover one or two of his socks in your hamper or suitcase and you will keep them and wear them from time to time. And when you do wear their socks, you will flashback to all the good moments you had together.

5. Their Interests Become Your Interests

This is probably the most important thing we take from our previous relationships. We always enter a relationship with one set of taste buds and come out on the other side of it changed — no matter whether your relationship was fabu or a total disaster. If your ex was a big movie buff, chances are you are now too or, at least, you watch movies differently. When you share all sorts of intimate moments with someone, it only makes sense that you will influence one another in some way because relationships are about sharing and learning. If not, then maybe you weren’t meant to be in the first place.

6. You Will Always Cook Stuff They Cooked

If you were with someone who cooked, then there’s definitely a thing or two they made that drove you cray cray. Like, you’d ask her or him to make it for you all the time. Even though you’re not together anymore, you’ll still crave this thing and try to make it from time to time. Recipes are probably the most poignant memories you’ll take with you from relationship to relationship, because you can write a recipe down, but you can’t teach someone how to make it just right. Cooking something your ex made or taught you is the ultimate expression of love, especially if you make it when you’re no longer together.

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