50 Healthy And Genuine Ways To Feel Gratitude, Forgiveness, And Guilt Without Torturing Yourself


1. Gratitude and forgiveness because we are told constantly that being gracious and forgiving will make us healthier and happier. But it isn’t always as simple as saying ‘thank you’, and ‘I forgive you’.

2. Guilt, gratitude, and forgiveness, felt out of guilty or when we don’t feel grateful or accepting of life, is inauthentic. That is because love and joy are our natural state. And we can get into the practice of distinguishing inauthenticities by asking ourselves four questions each time we get unstuck in life: (a) what am I telling myself about this situation? (b) what is really going on underneath it? (c) what are the facts minus my story? and (d) what new possibility can I create here?

3. Guilt because it is one of the lowest vibration emotions, and it prevents us from being in the emotional state we need to be in in order to create the experiences that we desire.

4. Guilt because sometimes it is instructional. 

5. Guilt because if it is situational (i.e. we messed up), we can apologize in a timely manner and not linger any longer. 

6. Guilt because we can reduce the likelihood of feeling it if we can develop mastery over our emotional state.

7. Guilt, gratitude, and forgiveness because all three are ultimately a choice.

8. Gratitude because no one in this world owes us anything.

9. Forgiveness because it is difficult to do directly, but is accessible if we make the beneficiary ourselves and not the other person.

10. Forgiveness because everything challenging that we experience in this life is offering a contrast from which we can fire off rockets of desire. And the larger the contrasting experience, the more energy behind that rocket.

11. Guilt because when it stems from our own actions, it is our emotional navigation system guiding us to a more authentic way of being. 

12. Guilt because it will probably always pay us a visit when we know we haven’t met (a) someone else’s expectations, or (b) our own on ourselves. But our behavior only requires reexamining in the second case. 

13. Guilt because if we don’t distinguish it (or name it), we can easily make it about other people. We can blame them for making us feel bad. This is a very unconscious way to behave – it is the definition of living at a very ordinary state of awareness.

14. Guilt because other people can’t know our soul’s desire – only we can know that.

15. Guilt because in doing the right thing by ourselves, we are doing the right thing by everyone.

16. Guilt because it should never have been a negative or ‘selfish’ thing to want to feel good.

17. Forgiveness because we know we have forgiven when we approve of (not merely accepted) every single thing that has happened, or that we have done. In other words, we can see the gifts of our pain. 

18. Gratitude because an attitude of gratitude is clearly irrelevant of circumstances.

19. Forgiveness because some people in our lives are to play the ‘villains’ and others the ‘good guys’. But all of them are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play.

20. Gratitude because awe, wonder and humility feel too awesome to experience every single day.

21. Gratitude, guilt and forgiveness because although in the beginning they are about making a choice, they can eventually become our default way of being.

22. Guilt because it is impossible to feel when we are living in the present. Gratitude and forgiveness because they flow naturally when we are being present. 

23. Forgiveness because the need to forgive originates from the mind, and we cannot fix a problem from the same mind used to create it. Therefore, to forgive takes a perspective shift. 

24. Gratitude because it eludes us when are encased in our expectations or feel a sense of self-entitlement. 

25. Forgiveness because pain is the touchstone of personal growth.

26. Gratitude because adversity is the biggest growth opportunity available.

27. Forgiveness because in saying ‘I cannot forgive you’, what you are really saying is ‘I will not free myself up from this emotion that is making me physically and mentally unwell’.

28. Forgiveness because it is completely possible to forgive anyone for anything, because above all we are worthy of feeling unlimited joy.

29. Guilt because you absolutely deserve to pursue your life purpose – and no outsider can adjudicate on that.

30. Guilt because it is a stick that women in particular use to beat themselves with. Which just means we need to be doubly conscientious about rewiring our minds to replace guilt with gratitude. 

31. Guilt because at the end of this lifetime, the only person we will need to answer to is ourselves.

32. Forgiveness and guilt because they keep us stuck in the past – and out of the realm of possibility and potential.

33. Gratitude because it is the number one way to connect with our heart’s inner voice.

34. Gratitude because the more we practice it, the more life gives us to be grateful for.

35. Gratitude because we are always being supported, in little and large ways, all of the time.

36. Gratitude because sometimes we just need to wake the F up!

37. Guilt because it isn’t our responsibility to make other people feel better and it’s not our job to make everyone happy. It’s also impossible.

38. Guilt because it steals your attention. And you need that attention for more worthy pursuits. For example, feeling gratitude.

39. Gratitude because if you can keep your attention in it, magic things will start happening in your life.

40. Gratitude because if it’s getting harder to feel, that’s your emotional guidance system telling you to make a change.

41. Guilt because Joseph Campbell said the truest thing ever when he said we should ‘follow our bliss’.

42. Guilt because we do not need to feel bad for being happy or beautiful, smart, or successful. These things are all our birth right, and as soon as we stop granting so much significance to them, we can just get on with the important business of being ourselves, and shining our lights.

43. Gratitude because connecting with it is an exercise in what we are giving our attention to. And what we are giving our attention to dictates our ability to create lives that are aligned with our deepest desires.

44. Guilt and (lack of) forgiveness because they are our favorite tools for punishing ourselves and keeping ourselves stuck.

45. Guilt because a life with less of it is freedom. Gratitude and forgiveness because life with more of them is freedom. And with that freedom comes our only meaningful responsibility: to be living our potentials.

46. Guilt because the feeling is as familiar as slipping on an old pair of socks – and familiarity is comforting. And whilst it’s okay to reach for the familiar sometimes, ultimately it stops personal growth. 

47. Forgiveness because you know you have ‘reached’ it by the lack of presence of its opposite in your life, and a dwindling number of trigger situations.

48. Gratitude because grace and the art of allowing is your natural state.

49. Gratitude because it is an intellectual process you can apply to every single scenario in your life until it becomes unthinking. And you do it by continually reaching for the slightly better emotion to feel about an event/situation. 

50. Forgiveness because above all else, we need to forgive ourselves. Because we were doing the best we could with what was available to us at the time.