62 Questions That Need To Be Answered Immediately


  1. What’s going to happen to Amanda Knox?
  2. Is there any possible chance that she really did murder her roommate?
  3. Did Amanda Knox date that nerdy Italian dude because she had a crush on Harry Potter and he looked like Harry Potter?
  4. Is that Taylor Swift song for sure about Katy Perry?
  5. If so, what is every single detail of that story?
  6. Do you think any celebrities were born the opposite sex and we don’t know it?
  7. How many humans get rabies?
  8. Do they just kill humans with rabies or what?
  9. Why do people make fun of how many podcasts there are?
  10. Who is the most sensitive artist?
  11. How many celebrities are crying right now vs. “regular people”?
  12. Why do I keep failing at making pickles?
  13. What retail chains have the strictest rules for their employees?
  14. Did John Mark Byers kill those boys?
  15. Is Jessica from Laguna Beach happy?
  16. How many pairs of shoes in Dina Manzo’s massive shoe collection retailed for less than $400?
  17. What are people who get into car chases trying to accomplish?
  18. Is my dead father haunting me?
  19. What’s the most caloric alcoholic beverage in the world?
  20. Is there a certain part of the brain that controls whether or not you can make bold fashion choices?
  21. How many people who were on Real World directly or indirectly became an alcoholic as a result of the show?
  22. What about The Bachelor?
  23. Is there a ton of footage of people on Real World masturbating?
  24. Does that stuff get passed around the post-production office regularly or do they have some sort of boundaries about that stuff?
  25. Why do people get excited about stuff like Cronuts?
  26. What is the most physically painful part of Navy SEAL training?
  27. Did Rino really fuck Teresa’s mom?
  28. Do any former US Presidents read Thought Catalog?
  29. Can bugs die from really loud noises?
  30. Why don’t we hear about more female pedophiles?
  31. Why aren’t male pedophiles as attractive as female pedophiles?
  32. Will we ever know what dogs are really thinking?
  33. What’s the most someone’s spent on a tube of limited edition Rihanna for MAC’s RiRi Woo? I spent like, $46.
  34. What’s the most embarrassing/regrettable phone call Drake has ever made?
  35. Do you think America will ever have a ‘The Purge’ situation IRL?
  36. How many homes had physical fights break out last Thanksgiving?
  37. Are there more physical fights between families on Thanksgiving or Christmas?
  38. How quickly do you think that community on Mars is going to fall apart?
  39. Do you think someone in the Mars community is capable of murder?
  40. What if none of the people on Mars want to fuck and there’s never a next generation?
  41. Would I get lonely on Mars?
  42. How long do you think it will take for a Mars-born celebrity to emerge?
  43. Does Apple break our phones from the inside?
  44. How much longer do polar bears have until climate change makes them extinct?
  45. Do I even want to know if there are any sex offenders in my apartment building?
  46. I think I could win Survivor, do you?
  47. Do I need to get a California license to get a prescription for weed or can I use my out of state one or what?
  48. How many true sociopaths have I known in my life?
  49. How do you stencil an image of your dog on to a pumpkin as a trace for like, carving?
  50. Why are so many kids allergic to peanuts now?
  51. Do you think that, more often than not, actors are surprised when a movie they made turns out to be really bad?
  52. Are people ever going to be cool enough for me?
  53. Did Brittany Murphy’s husband have an inappropriate relationship with her mother before he passed but after she did?
  54. Where and how does gallbladder pain show up in the body?
  55. Do I still owe Kristina $70?
  56. How do they know that Duke, the tallest dog in the world, was actually the tallest dog in the world?
  57. Who is measuring dogs?
  58. Do you have to ask to get your dog measured or do they just automatically know when your dog is large they should measure it?
  59. I bet Dan Savage has smart nightmares—what are his nightmares about?
  60. What celebrity do you think has the best (worst) nightmares?
  61. Am I going to die soon?
  62. Why do people rudely tell you to Google your questions when you only asked because you wanted to engage in a dialogue?
featured image – Sacha Chua