7 Conventionally Sexy Things You Need To Stop Doing (Because You Look Ridiculous)


Sexiness is subjective, but some actions are pushed on us by film, television, oiled-up music videos where everyone is crawling for no reason, and all other forms of #media as being super sultry and seductive. Several of these things are ridiculous and low key creepy in real life, and it’s time we acknowledge them and make them happen at a lesser frequency forever. Here are a few.

1. Winking

When someone does this on-screen, it looks simple and easy, fun and cute—all the positive ____ and ____’s you can muster, really. But that’s because they’re a paid actor who’s job is to be attractive and do things with ease. The rest of us read like creepy uncles trying to be cool with the kids—not a good look if you’re trying to one day bone the object of your winking. Whenever someone winks at me in a social situation, my first reaction is not 😉 or :-* but instead: “what do they want from me?”

2. Lip biting

Lip biting in videos: sexy. Practiced. Indicative of wanting to have sex. Lip biting in real life: worrisome. Are they okay? Are they worried about something and thinking about it? Why are they looking at you while doing it? Are they a Twilight character? So many questions, so much lip to avoid biting while pondering them.

3. Whispering

Whispering tends to just be what people think of as their sexy voice, instead of actually being a lowered volume version of their voice. Whispering isn’t sexy if it’s not done by someone to whom you already want to be close in a loud environment that warrants the “oh I’ll just whisper this in your ear instead because it’s just so loud” excuse. If someone whispers in a place where you can hear them, chances are that they’ll screw it up and just strain their voice into what they think is a whisper, but is really just a strained version of their voice. So everyone can hear. And it’s a concern. Sexiness gone.

4. Resting your weight on a door frame

Why do dudes always do this? I’ve seen this done well once—as in successfully, like a girl was enamored with this dude leaning on a random beam—but it still looked so extra. So obvious. This is the ultimate flex zone: friends don’t let friends get caught in a ‘try too hard flex on a door frame to be sexy’ zone.

5. Calling everyone “babe” or “baby”

Case in point: “laters, baby.”

6. Eye contact

Of course eye contact is an essential part of human interaction and not looking like a serial killer and all that sociological jazz, but intentional “look into their eyes to make this connection deeper” eye contact is just ill-advised. It’s another “what do you want from me?” scenario that makes you look more Dexter than Don Draper. And in reality? Looking like either of them is a bad look.

7. Doing the “come hither” gesture with your finger

This move is only sexy when it’s not being done to make you come over, but to make you…I’m just gonna let Google take it from here. Happy incognito browsing to you and yours.