7 Hilarious Predictions For Frozen 2 That Should Actually Happen


Last week Disney announced plans to develop a sequel to 2013’s hugely popular feature, Frozen. In celebration (or grief), fans have compiled their ideas for the sequel’s plot.

1. Frozen 2: Arendellian Gangster

“Kristoff convinces Elsa to stave off winter, so that they can create a monopoly on all ice in Arendelle. They quickly become filthy rich, because hey, it’s hot, and what’s better on a hot day than iced tea? Elsa starts to feel really bad about charging people twenty gold pieces for a cube of ice, so to keep her from caving, Kristoff locks her in an industrial freezer (the first of its kind, obviously) and forces her to keep making ice. Anna starts to get suspicious of why Elsa loves chilling in the freezer all day, but figures that her sister is just mad at her again, and then she gets distracted by all the fancy gifts Kristoff gives her, so she just let’s the matter go. The end.” –Austin, 23

2. Frozen 2: A Song Of Ice And Fire

“While super drunk one night, Elsa starts creating some snowman buddies for Olaf, but ends up going a little overboard and creates White Walkers instead. The White Walkers begin turning all the Arendelle babies into more White Walkers, so everyone flees South and builds a huge wall to keep Elsa’s White Walker army from stealing any more of their babies. Eventually, a handsome bastard named Jon Snow is watching the wall, runs into Elsa whilst out exploring, and they fall madly in love.” –Lauren, 23

3. Frozen 2: Shut Up

“The parents of little girls around the world hold Elsa hostage until she sings a very boring and not catchy song telling everyone to please, for the sake of their sanity, please stop singing ‘Let It Go.’” – Holly, 35

4. Frozen 2: Blue Is The Coldest Color

“Elsa comes out as a lesbian, because let’s be honest, there’s a reason she was totally not into Hans, and it wasn’t just because he’s super creepy. It’s about time Disney had a lesbian princess! Plus, they’ve already written her coming out song: ‘Coming out, coming out/ can’t hold it back anymore/ coming out, coming out/ turn away and slam that door!/ I don’t care/ what they’re going to say/ let the love rage on/ the dicks really bothered me anyway.’” – Jill, 22

5. Frozen 2: Walt Disney Returns

“We unearth Walt Disney’s frozen body and all is fine and dandy, until Anna and Elsa realize this isn’t exactly the Disney we knew… Zombie Disney must feed. And he must feed now.” –Ari Eastman, 23

6. Frozen 2: Love At First Flurry

“It’s not really much of a plot, but they just need to do a mash up of Frozen and Rise of the Guardians so that Elsa and Jack Frost can get together and make beautiful, icy babies. I ship them so hard.” –Anne, 18

7. Frozen 2: Global Warming

“Elsa finally sits down and watches An Inconvenient Truth. She rushes to the North Pole on Sven, and starts rebuilding all of the melted icebergs. Polar bears from all over flock together and worship her for saving all of their lives. She completely abandons Arendelle to become the queen of the polar bears, leaving Anna to figure out how to rule an entire kingdom when all she really wants to do is build a snowman.” –Greg, 24