7 Things All Concerts Should Have For People With Social Anxiety


1. Seats.

For those of us with social anxiety, concerts with standing room only are our worst nightmare. There’s literally nothing worse than being surrounded by dozens of half-drunk to full-drunk strangers who constantly bump into you, forcing you to make brief eye contact. Basically Hell on Earth. Is it so much to ask for the tiny bubble of personal space that comes with having a seat?

2. Section for non-dancers.

Loving live music, but hating dancing is like being in a weird purgatory. You’re super excited to be seeing your favorite band, but also feeling an awkward peer pressure to dance like no one’s watching… even though tons of people can see you. Imagine a concert where you could enjoy the music with your fellow left-footers, and feel absolutely no pressure to wave your arms, clap your hands, or gyrate in any way. At most, you could bob your head, but like, no pressure.

3. A separate exit.

And not just any exit, an exit reserved for people that have agreed to file out in a calm, orderly fashion. You don’t have to hold your friend’s hand to make sure you don’t get separated, or worry about getting knocked down by that asshole that’s racing to get to his car before traffic forms, you can just walk out at your leisure. Sure it might take a little longer, but it would definitely be worth it.

4. Exciting floor designs.

For those times when your friends leave you for “I swear, it’ll just be like two minutes,” and they’re MIA for going on fifteen. You’ve spent the time staring at your phone, but you’ve scrolled through every newsfeed available and they just texted you, “OMGeee sry, the line is suuuuper long! Be back soon-ish!” So if the floors had some really cool design on them, you could legitimately stare at the floor for the next ten minutes without looking like a total dumb dumb.

5. Wristbands indicating you don’t want to talk with strangers.

They already have wristbands for people over 21, it would be super easy to add a second one that says, “Plz don’t talk to me.” Really, it would benefit all people at the concert, because then the people that really really want to meet new people won’t have to wade through those awkward conversations to find a fellow extrovert. It’s like Tinder, but for talking.

6. A break room.

Sometimes even under the best circumstances, you just need a moment all to yourself to relax and recharge. And you can only sit in a dingy bathroom stall for so long before someone’s banging on the door yelling, “EXCUSE ME, OTHER PEOPLE ARE OUT HERE, DO YOU MIIIIIIIND??”

7. Lots and lots of alcohol.

Our back-up in case all of the above fail.