7 Things To Do When You’re Questioning Who You Truly Are


I personally believe at some point in your life you will question who you are, where you belong and what your calling is. This is a list I’ve come up with from personal experience and reflection that may assist you:

1. Spend time with yourself.

Don’t look at your phone first thing in the morning, don’t spend hours scrolling through Instagram, don’t sit on public transport with your headphones in. Don’t distract yourself from being present in everyday life due to fear, ignorance etc. The answers you seek come when the mind is still.  Enjoy your own company. Experience new places by yourself. This will enable better thought patterns because you learn to adapt to new surroundings by being more aware and alert. You will start coming into your own. You will start understanding your inner self, your personal motives.

2. Write down a list

Get a notebook and start jotting down the positive things you constantly do. This must mean you enjoy them.. right? These are your reliefs. Whether that’s listening to Ed Sheeran before bed, daily walks, reading, drawing, painting, dancing, inspiring yourself with online quotes. Write down your likes, dislikes, values and whatever sparks your interest – do more of that. By having this list, it also helps when you’re feeling lost to refer back to a firm protocol. Also, write down things that bother you so you know what potentially might be holding you back. When you realise who you are NOT and what you don’t identify with eg- a person or possession, who you are becomes revealed to you. You will become awakened and more self-aware.

3. Meditate

Meditate for even just 5 minutes daily. You CAN make time for this. I’m telling you it’s the best practise you will ever do. Bring your mind into a state of harmony. Don’t focus on the past, only on your next step. When you meditate, you’re provoking a peaceful state of mind where you can think more clearly and make more sensible decisions. It also provides a sense of direction – a positive impulse to go forward with your daily tasks.

4. Remember where you came from

It’s easy. Think about your family, your culture, what your everyday surroundings endorse and involve. Speak with family and friends. See. You already have an identity that is promised for life and that my friend is priceless. You should be proud of your identity as a family unit, as a person, in your community, at school, in your workplace, in a group sport, at university-  Identity’s we simply overlook.

5. Start Kicking goals

Ask yourself where you see yourself in the future – let’s just say 5 years time. Start designing goals to eventually achieve this. If you are unhappy in your workplace, generate a plan of how you’re going to transition into your dream life, doing what you really love. The right time is now. That business idea you can’t stop thinking about, start creating it. That local basketball team you so badly want to join, sign up. Eventually, you will start taking more control of your own life by doing things you choose to do. This shapes the person you become.

6. Try not to think of it as the end of the world

Breathe. You’re not alone. Even those who seem to have everything together question who they are and why they’re here. Quite possibly, no one is immune to this identity crisis- everyone feels it. It is so normal. If you keep telling yourself you don’t know what you’re doing with your life you start to believe it and eventually fall into a vicious cycle – eat, sleep, work, repeat – with little meaning or substance to your life. This is because you’re just getting the necessary things done to survive, but you’re not actually living. Your passion and calling will come when you least expect it, you can’t force it. So make sure you start taking action to benefit yourself instead of manifesting a negative idea.

7. Don’t settle for friendships, relationships that won’t allow you to be yourself.

Find a new group of friends who have similar interests and think the same as you. Don’t settle for people who lower your self-worth or make you feel any less of a person. Settle for people who elevate you and celebrate your progress. What’s for you will be for you effortlessly. Growing out of people is normal. Cutting toxic people out of your life is normal. It doesn’t mean you hate them, it means you respect yourself. By surrounding yourself with the energy and attitude you want to be around, you discover what’s important to you. Believe it or not, the people you socialise with may truly be impacting where you’re heading in life. As they say, you can really fuck your life up hanging around people with no ambitions.