7 Uncomfortable Reasons You Keep Ending Up In Toxic Relationships


1. You settle for less than you need.

Now you probably think that having a significant other is better than not having one, so you just catch whatever fish swims towards your bait—despite its size, type, and quality. Just because something is easier to obtain does not mean you should automatically choose it. Remind yourself that not every person is worth your time and effort, and it is wise to pick one who meets most of your standards. If you continue settling for less, you will eventually feel that you are lacking something—which will lead to several misunderstandings and petty fights with your partner.

2. You’re afraid of saying “no”

You are probably one of those people who are afraid of hurting others, so you end up going with the flow and accepting every date they ask you out on, even if you’re not actually interested. Then you end up lying some more during the actual date by cringe-laughing at their not-so-funny jokes and setting aside the turn-offs that you have already spotted before you two even started to eat. You just don’t want to be mean, right? In reality though, it is much more hurtful when you give people hope even when there truly isn’t. You have to remind yourself that not everyone is meant to be pleased by you; only the ones you genuinely like. Even then, you should be able to stand up for what you truly want and feel. Your gut-feelings are there for a reason.

3. You love the treatment they give you, but not them.

Oh, you just love the attention and effort that people give you when they’re into you. So why reject them, right? Wrong. Anyone can be nice—anyone can give you chocolates and surprise you with a bouquet of flowers at your doorstep. However, some of these people have motives. They want you as their life-partner in the future, and once you accept one thing from them—that will serve as their go signal to continue pursuing you. So make sure that before you actually say “I love you” back to them, it’s not only because of how much they spoil you and treat you like a princess. It should mainly be because you like them back. A relationship shouldn’t be about one person admiring and flattering the other. It has to be a give-and-take kind of thing. So, in short—don’t lead people on when you know you have nothing to give.

4. You like to mold others into your “ideal partner.”

Just imagine a scenario of a person who is extremely into you and is willing to change for you, with your help. The thought may get you excited because seeing someone as your project gives you a sense of purpose and motivation, because they might just be capable of being “the one” for you. THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE CASE. If they are truly “the one” for you though, they would find ways on their own to adjust and bend for you. It is their choice. It is their path to take. All you have to do is just wait and see if they will climb mountains for you. Remember, you are your own project.

5. You would do anything to NOT be alone.

Your FEARS of living alone in the future AFFECT you so much, that you want to speed up the whole relationship thing and grab WHOEVER is within your reach. If you’re feeling lonely while you’re single, that’s a sign that you need to start getting to know yourself more—not AN OPPORTUNITY TO go hunting for love. If you feel embarrassed about being single—I’ll tell you now that it is nothing to be ashamed of. What is shameful is being with someone just to fill the empty void inside your chest. You probably just need to keep yourself busy or maybe you just need a new friend or companion. You are of great value. Keep a price tag on yourself—and make sure it’s high.

6. You think that every person who comes into your life is meant to be your lover.

Just because things are going bad and a person just magically appears in your life, doesn’t mean that he or she is going to save you from whatever you are going through—and vice versa. Just because things are going so well (and smoothly) doesn’t mean that you need to be dating a person who will be the “cherry on top” of your already-sweet life. Things in life happen for a reason—yes—but it may be simpler than you think. It could be coincidental—not by fate, which is what we learned from all those romance movies. Things may seem exciting at the start, but once the moment is over—you may forget why you even started the relationship.

7. You disregard the negatives.

Saying that “love is blind” is perfect for this statement because once you think you’re in love, your perception of the other person suddenly blurs out all their unpleasant traits and magnifies their positive ones. Now I’m not saying that you should focus on the negatives more than the positives—what I’m saying is that you should be able to look at both the positives and negatives in the eye—and tell yourself whether or not you will be able to deal with them, ESPECIALLY IN THE LONG-RUN.