7 Weird Things About Seeing The Guy You Haven’t Had The ‘So What Are We?’ Conversation With Yet


1. You go on dates, but whether or not you’re actually ‘dating’ remains a mystery.

He takes you out to dinner, and buys you ice cream for dessert, but does that mean you two are dating or just seeing each other? Both are simply terms used to give each of you more security in your relationship, whatever that relationship may be, but your security shouldn’t depend on a meaningless title. It doesn’t matter whether you can say you two are dating, it matters if he cares about you, and that isn’t difficult to determine.

2. You get nervous introducing him to people.

When you run into your coworker on the street and your (whatever you’d like to call him) is with you, you tense up when you have to initiate introductions. “Oh, this is my…” Other girls will openly say “my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that,” but you don’t know what to call him by. Avoid giving him a title, and just introduce him by his name. He’s not yours so don’t introduce him to other people like he is until you feel comfortable enough to do so. Titles can drive a girl insane, so try not to worry so much about them.

3. You don’t know how to describe him to your friends.

“Oh so you guys are officially dating?”

“I don’t know. I think. Maybe not. I don’t know.”

“So you’re his hookup?”

“Well no, I’m not that either.”

“So what the hell are you?” Good question, that you’re not going to ask any time soon, and you really don’t need to. The main motive behind the “so what are we?” conversation is to clarify to everyone else what you two have going on, but what does that matter if you both are happy with where you currently stand?

4. You feel bad texting other guys.

It’s pure friendly conversation, but you feel guilty because you don’t know the intentions on the other end. If you’re texting another guy who clearly wants to hookup with you, and you feel any guilt or remorse about it, it most likely means you care about the guy you’re currently seeing. If you don’t want to hurt him, don’t. It’s that simple.

5. You don’t know what constitutes cheating, or if it is even possible to cheat on him.

If you’re not sure where you two stand, boundaries become pretty difficult to establish, especially when it comes to cheating. There is no Bill of Rights for how to be faithful to someone, and even more so with the guy you’re ‘almost’ in a relationship with. Do what feels right, and be honest with yourself and with him.

6. You despise the word exclusive

What does that word even mean when it comes to modern dating? Are you exclusive to each other, or to everyone else? Are those the same thing? Are there more important questions we could be asking? Yes, definitely. Exclusivity just implies you two aren’t seeing anyone else. If you don’t want him dating other girls, let him know. If he doesn’t want you dating other guys he should do the same.

7. You always feel it’s too soon to have the ‘so what are we?’ conversation.

When you haven’t had it yet, it’s always in the back of your mind, but you also never want to bring it up. This may not be the most important conversation to a relationship. Words are simply said, but it is your actions that give them volume. It doesn’t matter what he says until he shows you what he means, so asking this question might be more trouble than it’s worth.