8 Things I Just Don’t Understand

1. Cat-calling.

I don’t get it. Seriously, when in the history of time has cat-calling actually worked? It’s an awkward situation to get caught in, no matter how you look at it. Whether or not you were genuinely trying to compliment a woman or you were acting out of a surge of hormones, please understand that you’re talking to a complete stranger. That woman does not know you and from what you just said, does not intend to. Ever. So please stop. It’s annoying.

2. Racism.

Yes, I don’t understand this and yes, this is still an issue. I don’t understand why, though. Is it a human need to categorize and label people into a pre-determined box of characteristics? “All (insert race) do this.” Are we as people that one-dimensional? Why is it so hard of a concept to understand people for their individualism apart from their heritage? Why are people afraid to show that individuality outside of their heritage? Why can’t we celebrate our commonalities instead of chastising each other’s differences? Why can’t we all just get along, dammit?!

3. Slut-Shaming.

Men are gods if they have multiple partners, but women? Women become sluts. But to make matters worse, not only do men slut-shame women, but WOMEN slut-shame women too! What the hell?! As if it wasn’t bad enough getting bashed by a chauvinist asshole, now the girl’s own friends want to call her a whore? How is this okay? Why should it be anyone else’s business how many people a woman chooses to engage with sexually? Is there a magic number that exempts her from slut status? What’s the rule, here? And who set them? Unless a woman has agreed to be exclusive with her partner, I don’t see why she isn’t allowed to have the same privileges a man does to play the field how she sees fit.

4. Homophobia.

I think this is the most confusing to me. Why is it such a big issue to people?? If you are not directly involved in a homosexual relationship, what consequence, detriment or hardship are you personally facing? Is the gay couple next door causing you to lose focus at work? Are they slipping drugs in your tea when you’re not looking and then chain-linking you to their bed for some unwarranted neighbor-friendly foreplay? No? Then what is your issue? Men, do all straight women want to have sex with you? Women, do all straight men want to have sex with you? No. So where does the assumption come from that the gay community is gunning after you with a bag full of dildos? Get over yourself and let gays be gays.

5. Closed-minded Christians.

Since we all know where most of number 4 stems from, let’s talk about this. First of all. This statement alone, “closed-minded Christians” is an oxymoron. How can a doctrine that’s based on love, compassion and unconditional acceptance be closed-minded? Are you seriously that worried that the rest of the world is condemned to hell that you’ve made it a mission within yourself to save these wretched heathens who know not what they do? I don’t buy that. Love and acceptance comes from spending time with a person, learning who they are and building mutual trust. Evaluating and lecturing a person off of their appearance, sexual preference and social status isn’t love. It’s insulting and utterly lazy. “Ministry” means “to serve” not “to judge.” Please learn this. Soon?

6. Animal Abuse.

I will never understand this. For whatever reason, people have it in their minds that just because animals can’t communicate what they need, they don’t require the same things we do. Animal abuse isn’t just physically beating an animal; it’s neglecting them, too. Don’t own pets if you don’t have time for them. Don’t get a dog if you aren’t going to train him/her properly. Don’t get a cat if you don’t want to clean his/her litter. Learn responsibility. Adopting a pet is a life decision. They’re not novelties, they’re not accessories, they’re not toys, they’re not gambling tools, they’re not science projects, they’re not punching bags and they are NOT temporary. They are living beings and unless you can respect them as another life form that requires daily maintenance just like we do, leave them for the people who can care for them properly!

7. Snooty Waiters.

Another oxymoron. Dude. You make a living off of tips. Why would you want to be rude to the customer that you’re expecting a tip from?? I don’t give a shit if Kim Kardashian ate here last week, how does that give you clout? Tips are earned through excellent service, not a good Yelp review. Don’t be a dick and expect me to tip you 30% just because you put my order in and then disappeared for your 45 minute smoke break. I was a server, too. Doing what’s required of you is what the restaurant pays you for. Giving prompt and pleasant service regardless of circumstance is what the customer pays you for. Learn that now or get out of the restaurant industry, because if you don’t, you’ll drown. Fast.

8. “First-World Problems.”

There are countries that literally don’t have irrigation systems where people have to trek 10-15 miles just for clean water and you’re expecting a job with fully paid benefits because you have a college degree? No, I don’t understand this. Nor do I want to. I think it’s a little ridiculous that this phrase even caught on. It’s abhorrently insensitive and it shows exactly how far removed our society is from what’s really going on outside of our realms of relevance. We have freedom, we have education, we have healthcare (sort of), and hell, we have clean water—which as basic as it may sound, should still be appreciated! So the next time you bitch because you have to walk all the way downstairs to find your TV remote or the tiger shrimp just doesn’t look fresh enough, or the A/C unit hiccups… just think. At least you’re not drinking shit water because someone out there is, thankful to stay hydrated for another day.