8 Ways Mid-80s Babies Don’t Always Act Their Age
By Amy Green
So, you were born in the mid-80s, which makes you somewhere in the vicinity of 30. You might have a career, own your own place, and even be starting to save for retirement. Congratulations, you’re an adult. Well, sort of…
1. You still feel like all the Friends characters are older than you are…
Remember watching “The One Where They All Turn 30” for the first time, and how much older than you the famous six all seemed? If you re-watch it now, you’ll probably find yourself feeling sorry for the friends as they each struggle with turning the big 3-0, until you suddenly realize that they are the same age as you are. So. Incredibly. Weird.
2. …but you definitely still feel the same age as the Saved By The Bell cast.
You’ll forever kind of wish you were Kelly Kapowski and that you were dating Zack Morris. Or vice versa.
3. You revert to teenage behaviours around your parents.
Sure, you’ve started building a relationship with your mom and dad that’s more like a friendship than parental-child, but, if you’re anything like me, at times I may as well be wearing flared jeans, a shiny halter top, platform flip-flops, and a zig-zag comb headband (what was I thinking?!) and telling my parents that they “just don’t get it” and they’re being “SO unfair!” WhatEVER (cue the “W” sign on your forehead).
4. You’re still not really sure how to properly roast a chicken.
We may call ourselves “foodies”, be obsessed with any grain that doesn’t have gluten in it, and take absurd amounts of #foodporn instragram pics, but how many of us can master the classics? I’m not talking about a vegan/gluten-free/nut-free/substance-free banana bread (which, don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for), but about knowing how to make the basics that your mom could always whip up from the top of her head, like baking powder biscuits, a roux, and a roasted chicken – or, even better, homemade chicken noodle soup using all the chicken leftovers.
5. You occasionally forget that tequila shots are still a bad idea.
You may not have as many benders as you used to, but, once in awhile, you still find yourself buying a fourth – or was it a fifth? – round of tequila shots and proceeding to butcher “No Scrubs” on the karaoke machine (although, in your mind, you sound exactly like Chilli, obviously).
6. You not-so-secretly wish ABC would bring back TGIF, 90s style.
Who doesn’t yearn for the days of hunkering down in front of the T.V. on Friday night with a big bowl of popcorn (even though your orthodontist “strongly discouraged it”) to watch two hours of Family Matters, Step by Step, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and, my personal fave, Boy Meets World. In an era before PVR, commercial breaks were used to run frantically to the kitchen to re-load up on Gushers or Fruit Roll-ups (which you’d proceed to wrap around your pointer finger and suck on). Oh, the good old days.
7. You could spend a whole Saturday playing Super Nintendo.
Although typical weekends now involve previously foreign concepts like “getting up early” and “being productive,” don’t pretend you couldn’t “waste” at least one Saturday crushing Earthworm Jim 2 or Super Mario World. And you’ll always think that Super Nintendo is the best console ever made.
8. You know all the words to that One Direction song.
You can’t grow up during the Backstreet Boys and ‘NSYNC era and not have a soft spot for boy bands. It’s no “MMMBop,” but “What Makes You Beautiful” is still pretty catchy. And so what if you kind of have a crush on Harry Styles? Don’t judge.