9 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy And Birth


YAY! You got a positive pee stick- CONGRATS! Now it’s time to consume all the baby books, blogs, and forums, and you’ll be an expert, right? WRONG! There are SO many things that books just won’t teach you; here are some:

1. Everyone knows everything!

When you announce your pregnancy, you’ll be inundated with congratulations, well wishes, and…advice. The advice, most of the time, is with pure intent, but it can get really frustrating when everyone tells you something different and then insist their way is the right way. Politely thank them, make note, and move on. Everyone parents differently, and there is no wrong way (except beating or killing: that’s wrong!)

2. Bleeding

You may still bleed throughout your pregnancy and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Spotting is common and can happen at the beginning or throughout the duration of your pregnancy; if it’s light, don’t panic yet. ALWAYS call your doctor, but don’t over react right away. As much as you will want to share this information with friends and family, wait till you see your doctor or you’ll get bombarded with horror stories: something a pregnant woman doesn’t need.

3. Peeing

Get used to peeing…a lot! As the baby grows, it will start pushing on different parts of your organs, your bladder being one of them.

4. “Sleep now!”

One of the most common statements you’ll hear is, “Sleep now. Because once the baby comes, you won’t!” I never understood that. How will sleeping NOW help me in 9 months? The irony of this is that when you are in your later pregnancy months, sleeping becomes harder; it’s uncomfortable because this giant bowling ball is crushing your insides. You’re not allowed to lay on your back, so you have to sleep on your side. But then, you’ll have to pee. Jokes on you!

5. Birth planning

Soft music, friends and relatives surrounding you cheerleading, maybe even a picture to focus all your pain on? Riiiiiight! It’s nice to think you’ll have the opportunity to prepare for birth but the thing is, your kid is in control most of the time. It decides when it comes out and how it wants to come out. I’m not saying it’s a poor choice to plan your birth, but just don’t be shocked if it doesn’t turn out as expected.

6. The actual birth is messy!

Some call it beautiful; mother nature at its purest. The truth is, it’s messy. There’s going to be a lot of blood, mucous, and poop. Yes, poop- and it may be yours! Anything can happen during birth, even pooping. Hey, poop happens! What can I tell you?

7. Emotions

With delivery and the birth of your child, comes the fluctuation of your hormones. One minute, you can be crying because the balloons you were sent are just SO.DAMN.THOUGHTFUL. and the next minute, the doctor checking your blood pressure is the worst human being on earth! The only thing to keep an eye on is postpartum depression; otherwise, the hormones, and emotions are completely normal!

8. You’re going to pee when you sneeze, laugh, cough, or breathe.

If you pushed during labor, whether you wound up with a natural birth or c-section, chances are you’ve done some work to your insides. Peeing will now happen at random, uncontrollable times. It’s normal. If it becomes bothersome or excessive, see a doctor; but most of the time, it’s just a side effect of giving birth.

9. You are going to feel love that no one can ever describe!

There’s no book, Hallmark card, or person that can describe the unconditional, overwhelming, and greatest love you’ll ever experience. With everything that you endured during the 9 months, as they say, it will all be worth it when you hold your baby and realize you created this tiny human. Congratulations! You’re a mom!