9 Things Only Chronic Masturbators Will Understand


1. You have your own style

Whether the grip or the stance, you have your own particular “style” when masturbating. You might like to squeeze your asscheeks or hold on to the table — whatever, it’s your time and style.

2. ‘Just this once.’

How many times have you said that? “This will be the last time,” or “I’ll stop masturbating today.”

3. You’ve done it in public

No, not in full view of people, but in a restroom, you know, to rub one out quick.

4. You have a personal record

And you’re not afraid to tell your friends (or anyone who asks) about it.

5. The search for porn

It takes longer for you to find the right porn than it takes for you to finish.

6. Your masturbation arm is slightly larger than the opposite

7. You have a go-to depository

You know, a sock? Tissues? A t-shirt?

8. Cool-down period

After you orgasm, you scurry around to clean up after yourself…and hide the evidence. Bathroom break!

9. The urge

From 10 minutes to an hour (maybe longer), you begin to feel the urge to masturbate again. And before you know it, the cycle starts again.