9 Things To Remember When Moving On Seems Impossible


1. Acceptance is always better than denial.

Denial’s going to take you nowhere. The first step in every problem whether complicated, tricky, or not: ACCEPT IT. There’s no other way to face your problem if you’re undyingly trying to convince yourself that he will come back, that she will call you at the wee hours of the night, that he will suddenly appear at you front door, or unswervingly sugarcoating the situation by making yourself accept the myth that you were not really hurt. I know it hurts to swallow the whole damn pill. But wounds will hurt more and will persist longer if you tend to them with a band-aid rather than in letting in open air to help them heal themselves.

2. Cry it out.

Cry. If somebody told you that swallowing in the tears, standing straight, and tilting your chin makes you strong against the problem, well, that person is a coward. If it hurts a lot, it’s not a crime to shed some tears. In fact, it helps. One long and one heartfelt crying session, that will really burst the arteries and veins in your core, will make you feel better, and comfortable. (But I said “One”. Not numerous times, not often, not every day. Just one.)

3. Do not do an instant makeover.

This is a real no-no, especially regarding haircuts. A new haircut or a new fashion style won’t really mean that you have a new life. If you are not really decided to forget the you of the past who hurt so deeply, then it will be of no use. Stay who you are, love who you are, and understand who you are.

But if doing so will really make you comfortable, and will help you move on faster, then go ahead. Just no regrets after, please. Spare yourself of it. You have had too many regrets in life already.

4. Spend time with the people who love you.

Trust me, I’ve been there, done that, suffered this, surpassed that — I know what I’m saying. Families are there since you were born for a reason. They will always be there for you, and the friends who listen to you are the ones who are worth their weight in acquaintances. But please, spare them one too many rants, anger, and pleas for revenge. Let them help you try to find inner peace and strength instead.

5. Listen to songs that boost your mood.

Spare yourself that repeat playlist of “Someone Like You”, or “Somebody That I Used To Know”. Listen to songs like “Skyscraper”, Glee’s version of “Smile”, The Script’s “Hall of Fame”, or Katy Perry’s “Wide Awake”. Sure, you have to listen to songs like John Mayer’s “Heartbreak Warfare” every once in a while, but you ought to listen often to T-Swift’s “Eyes Open” or “22”, so someday you can sing to the tune of the songs like One Republic’s “Feel Again”.

6. Reminiscing is always better than repeating.

It is not prohibited to think about what went wrong in your previous relationship or at your last job when you’re in the stage of moving on. In fact, it helps because it actually aids you to analyze the situation and reach philosophical conclusions from it that you can someday scribble down as life lessons. It also helps you to become a better person so that you don’t repeat your old mistakes.

7. Keep yourself busy.

Yes, it really is an effective strategy. Occupying yourself with worthwhile things deviate your mind from the situation you are currently in. You can devote yourself to a cause, tick an item off your bucket list, take that stroll in the park… Ah, the joy of starting fresh. In the course of forgetting someone or something, you had actually done something productive and fun. Way to go, dear!

8. Keep yourself away from the situation.

Stay away from the person or situation that hurt you. To what degree? To the point that even if they’re the last person on earth to save you from Voldemort, you’ll trust yourself better than them. If you are really decided to forget the guy or the gal, thou shall not have any form of communication with them, because the smallest hint that he or she can give you might always rekindle a flame — just like how a drop of water can ignite an break an electric generator.

9. Love yourself more.

It might seem easier said than done, but it’s monumentally important. After all, you deserve it. Start with loving yourself. Healing comes from there.