Gravity Is Kind Of ‘Meh’
By Koty Neelis
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SpOiLeR aLeRt!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiTiKOy59o4&w=584&h=390]
Okay, now that that’s over, let’s talk about Gravity. Everyone, meaning the internet and like two of my friends IRL, are having serious circle jerks over this movie. Everyone’s all, “omg, did you SEE Gravity? This is the future of film! Omg, Sandra Bullock! So flawless!”
I saw it opening weekend and honestly, my reaction was: mehhhhh. I didn’t see it in 3D because I was hungover and trying to cure it with an insatiable lust for Wild Cherry Pepsi and two boxes of BunchaCrunch. All that 3-D spinning seemed like a real bad idea. Aside from the spinning, I skipped 3-D because I personally don’t give a hoot about it. It does nothing to increase my movie viewing pleasure and it’s more expensive, so that’s a no all around.
The special effects were cool, sans 3D. I totally dug those and I think its super neat the director worked with NASA to develop the effects and technology. It reminded me of when my parents took me to see Twister in the theater when I was a kid because the special effects were bad ass. That flying cow? Aw, yeahhhh.
Aside from the special effects though, what does Gravity really provide viewers? Sandra Bullock as the character Dr. Ryan Stone was basically Sandy playing herself again, except with more heavy breathing. George Clooney also played himself: just another handsome, dreamy character, albeit literally dreamy this time. The character development was heavily lacking and the plot line seemed lazy to me.
Dr. Stone’s daughter died because she fell down at the playground???? Uhm…okay. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. We hear all the time about children falling down and dying for no other reason than they fell. That backstory should have either been cut or more developed.
When Dr. Stone finally arrived on Earth and walked away I expected something more to happen. I don’t know…George Clooney whizzing by on a jet ski shirtless and smiling with a glass of scotch in his hand…or maybe the Kardashian clan walking the beach, stepping over Dr. Stone trying to stand up, and Kim bitching about losing a $500,000 earring? A Sharknado, perhaps? I personally feel like a Sharknado would fix the ending to any bad movie but maybe that’s just me.
My bff said he’d rather skip spending $40 at the movie theater on tickets and snacks to see Gravity and wait to watch it at home, stoned, and for $5 on On Demand. He’s probably right. Cool effects…and…cool effects. Aside from that I thought it was over hyped. Did you see Gravity? Did you love it? Hate it? Secretly wish George Clooney would appear in your dreams to tell you where a hidden stash of vodka is?