Everyone’s Thoughts While Pooping In A Public Restroom

Can you say pooping in an article for an established website?

Either way, we all do it, we all love it but sometimes it can be stressful. Nobody knows that stress more than when stepping into a public bathroom to take an emergency dump. What is an emergency dump you may ask?

An emergency dump is an unexpected and unwanted change of events in your digestive system that results in having to make a quick entrance into the nearest public defecation institute.

Here are everyones thoughts while taking a shit in a public restroom, a poem:

Ahhh gotta take a dump. I knew I shouldn’t have ate that chimichanga…at least not so quickly. I really need to slow down when I eat.

Oh thank God it’s empty. Aint nobody need to be around for this shit-storm. Literally.

Haha, shit jokes while shitting.

Ok let’s find a nice spot. No…no…no… gross, no. Ah perfect! In the middle, like the royalty I am! King of the bathroom, Should I lay down toilet paper on the seat like my mom used to always make me do? Nah! Aint nobody got time for that.

Oh, cold.

*sigh*

Pussshhh, pusshhh. C’mon hurry up!

*plop*

Ahhh that’s nice. That’s so nice. Bye chimichanga. It was nice having you. Ugh, I feel so much lighter. Should I start taking laxatives? Like, for fun? Nah, that’s messed up. I’ll just sit here for a bit. This is kind of peaceful.

*door opens*

Shit! Seriously? Can’t I just poop in peace in a public bathroom just once?! Damn! Wait…can they smell it? Could it have permitated the room that quickly? What am I doing?! The longer it sits, the stronger the smell!

*quickly flush*

Oh of course you will get in the stall right next to me. What the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t see these ten other empty stalls? Do you not know proper restroom etiquette? Nice shoes though…wait can they see my shoes? Will they know it was me that stunk up the bathroom after we leave? Damn you stranger! Wait do they know iv’e been in here this long?

*flushes again*

See, big things going on over here, big things.
Ugh this is so shameful!
Should I try to make a quick leave before they get done? Or just wait? Dang they’re already peeing! Only seconds left on the clock.

*hastily zips up*

C’mon, c’mon. Damn these automated sinks! They never work! Okay there we go. Soap, soap soap. Don’t look in the mirror. I don’t want to see the shame!

*person comes out*

Shit!

*hastily exists*

few!….that wasn’t so bad.

Ugh pulling up your pants after doing that is just awful. And I just have to go about as if noting has just happened? I wonder if people can see it on my face. Can they see it in my eyes? Do they know what I have just done? That lady just looked at me like she knew. Yeah so what? People poop. It’s no big deal. Pshhh!

Oh the shame! Why does my body have to betray me so?!

I’m never pooping in a public bathroom again!