40 Little Things You’ve Never Admitted How Much You Truly Hate
By Rob Fee
I was talking to my pal Allison Harvard and we realized there are a lot of things that we mutually hate. Not serious things or stuff that actually matters, but little, dumb things that go unnoticed every day. Here are 40 irrational things that we believe everyone doesn’t realize they hate.
1. The word “hoagie”
2. Baby names that ignore phonics
3. Baby names that require an explanation
4. The End of Every Final Destination movie
5. Dr. Phil’s wife Robin’s pleading eyes at the beginning of an episode
6. D Batteries
7. That Kay Jewelers commercial where the guy proposes in the middle of the store
8.The weird orange puffy peanuts that claim to be candy
9. Baby clothes that portray animals doing mundane human tasks
10. Green apple Jolly Ranchers
11. Watching anyone eat a green apple Jolly Rancher
12. When you ask for a water at a fast food restaurant and they give you a thimble for a cup. Just because I don’t like soda doesn’t mean I’m not thirsty
13. Captchas that couldn’t be deciphered if you brought in the science team from Jurassic Park
14. Sitting in the back seat of the car alone while both of your friends are up front, so you have to keep leaning forward to try to be involved in any conversation while your seatbelt cuts off circulation to the bottom half of your body
15. When you get a pizza delivered and the driver let the box sit sideways so now all the toppings slid off one side and it looks like an old man’s skin covered in sauce
16. People who refer to reality star contestants by only their first name like they’re old friends or something
17. Wet cheek kisses
18. Handshakes where the other person only grips your fingers so your hand just flops around until they let go
19. Whatever the heck riblets are
20. When you tell a story and someone says, “oh I know exactly what you mean” and then tells the exact same story when it also happened to them.
21. Movie characters that have the same ringtone as me
22. Realizing you’re in a drive thru and Arby’s and questioning every life decision you’ve made up to that point
23. Dentists that make jokes or ask questions while you’ve got a giant chunk of plastic in your mouth along with a blade against your gums
24. Trying to spell “M. Night Shyamalan”
25. The laughter on a radio morning show
26. People that make you close your eyes before receiving a gift
27. Commercials that brag about the amount of torque a vehicle has
28. The word spanx
29. Trash bags that don’t have pull strings on them
30. Non-chocolate Teddy Grahams
31. The automated emails you get from companies after you contact them that just say “hey we got your email and we’ll contact you back soon”
32. Jim Carrey as The Riddler
33. Jim Carrey anytime after the 90s (excluding Eternal Sunshine)
34. Cargo pants that have zippers so they can become shorts like the saddest Transformer ever
35. When someone is singing along to a song on the radio but they only know every 5th word and just make a weird mumbling sound for all the rest of the words until the chorus
36. Short sleeved polo shirts
37. Hoodies that say the name of a state on them
38. Close up shots of audience members during Oprah
39. When there’s one sample left at one of the little tables at Costco and someone who’s already eaten one grabs it before you can try it
40. Anyone who’s naked, but insists on still wearing socks (don’t even mention people who still have shoes on)