19 Times J.K. Rowling Hilariously Destroyed Every Twitter Troll In Existence
By Kim Quindlen
1. The calm brilliance that was this tweet.
.@Lukekocura I’d type a longer retort, but these diamond buttons really hurt my fingers. pic.twitter.com/RJ19nIMd94
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 4, 2015
2. This.
.@diegtristan8 “she is built like a man”. Yeah, my husband looks just like this in a dress. You’re an idiot. pic.twitter.com/BCvT10MYkI
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 11, 2015
3. When she schooled sweet, young Craig.
JK says she’s Scottish but donates money to #bettertogether so she can remain British. Is that called a hypocrite? https://t.co/QFabqMuuke — Craig (@CraigWilliamWil) June 19, 2015
No, Craig, it’s called ‘disagreeing with you’. https://t.co/iD6VbyERy1 — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 19, 2015
4. “Hogwarts is in Scotland.” *drops mic*
.@bt_betot Hogwarts is in Scotland.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 19, 2015
5. When she explained agony.
Some smug git just told me to ‘save my agony’ for the world cup. That is not how my agony works. — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 5, 2015
6. When she reminded us, once again, how wonderfully sarcastic she can be.
@jk_rowling can always switch to American college football. Starts today — Eric Steltzer (@ESteltzer) September 5, 2015
.https://t.co/FnuUyiHl6A Real men don’t wear shoulder pads, Eric. — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 5, 2015
7. When she politely told this guy to STFU.
@jk_rowling @Millie_77 Yes Joanne, but how many??? We already have too many immigrants in the UK-we are at bursting point, just look at NHS! — Craig Williams (@Lambrettaman6) September 4, 2015
Without immigrants the NHS would collapse. Estimated 35% of “health professionals” from outside UK. https://t.co/aNjjGZcakG — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 4, 2015
8. When she thanked this person for their groundbreaking advice on the Syrian refugees.
You probably have enough space to house a few. Put your money where your tweet is. https://t.co/Ejmg8jp103 — Erik Schoorl (@godvoordommen) September 3, 2015
The idea of giving money to aid organisations had never occurred to me. Thanks for the prompt! https://t.co/bvotaTe8g9 — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 3, 2015
9. Her response to this person’s eloquent insults.
Well, that’s me comprehensively out-argued. *Snaps pen in two, bids for Yes badge on eBay* pic.twitter.com/qDEhMIz7UX — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 20, 2015
10. And when she gave in to the undeniable power of the trolls.
.@saibhandari I shall try and pull together the fragments of my shattered existence. I ask for privacy at this difficult time. *sobs*
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 20, 2015
11. This piece of advice.
Want the Daily Express to care that you’re trying to find a safe home? Be a dog. pic.twitter.com/4F46vcWBWu — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 2, 2015
12. This tweet, which is actually the most perfect thing I’ve ever read.
.@WBCsigns Alas, the sheer awesomeness of such a union in such a place would blow your tiny bigoted minds out of your thick sloping skulls. — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2015
13. When she put this person in his place.
The only people who should be feeling victimised by you are the decent ones whose politics you claim to share. pic.twitter.com/Vv5y7U6FNj — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 20, 2015
14. This tweet where she didn’t own anybody but it’s too great not to include in this list.
I’m in Edinburgh, so could somebody at King’s Cross wish James S Potter good luck for me? He’s starting at Hogwarts today. #BackToHogwarts — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 1, 2015
15. When she told this girl to keep fighting.
@jk_rowling You inspired me to write. However, in Egypt, girls can’t do anything freely as boys. They laugh at me when I say I am a writer. — Hagar E. El-Saeed (@Hagar_ElSaeed) August 15, 2015
Don’t you dare let their laughter extinguish your ambition. Turn it into fuel! Big hugs from one writer to another x https://t.co/w3lYXAosJj — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) August 15, 2015
16. When she teased Matthew Lewis and Tom Felton.
So proud of my boys. Even after all these years, they still want to kick each other’s arses. pic.twitter.com/nwQI7s4jka — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) August 28, 2015
17. When she suggested that Ryan choose a different career path. Get ready, urine for a good joke… no?
@jk_rowling Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. (Sorry :)) — Ryan-Lee Norrie (@ryanlee502) June 18, 2015
Ryan, I’m sorry, but you may have to accept that designing greetings cards isn’t for you. https://t.co/KZT3chQ7Gj
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 18, 2015
18. When she had the perfect reaction to Matthew Lewis’s glorious photo shoot.
We’re SO excited to unveil our new cover star – the amazing @Mattdavelewis! New issue out NOW! http://t.co/2L10BLADln pic.twitter.com/zFLMo2OP01
— Attitude (@AttitudeMag) May 21, 2015
.@Mattdavelewis Not as bad as watching Dan in Equus, but close. Warn me next time, for God’s sake. https://t.co/r8EUd1GKqT
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 21, 2015
19. And THIS, because we have to end on a high note.
.@sjosiah0 The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015