36 Thoughts You’ll Have While Sitting In A College Library
By Alison Ortiz
- I have zero desire to be here right now.
- I want to go back to my dorm and sleep forever.
- Is my paper actually due tomorrow?
- LOL, not happening.
- Maybe I should just spend my time here phrasing an email to my professor asking for an extension.
- Or I can just use that time to actually work on writing my paper.
- I’ll go with the email option.
- Dear, Prof. I am like really swamped with life and like trying to figure out what I am even supposed to be doing in life so if you could like let me hand in this paper like next semester that would be great.
- Professional?
- Maybe I should end with sincerely so it sounds better.
- I am a genius…I knew there was a reason why I got into this overpriced accredited university.
- Send.
- Maybe I should plan my classes for next semester.
- Oh my god, all of [INSERT FRAT HERE] just walked into the library.
- They’re so hot.
- Do you think if I look over enough, one of them will take me to formal?
- It is worth a shot.
- Am I staring too much?
- Shit, I should have worn my glasses; it is so evident that I am staring.
- Oh, well.
- I am going to stalk them on facebook instead of planning my classes.
- Wow (INSERT FRAT BRO HERE) is so hot and like he looks so douchey but like I heard he is really sweet too.
- SHIT, I think he just saw me scrolling through his profile.
- I am going to pull up Blackboard and make it seem like I was just trying to get to my homework.
- Wait, my professor just posted ANOTHER assignment due tomorrow.
- Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.
- This library is actually a tundra.
- Why didn’t I wear layers?
- You mean to tell me that I pay 64K a year for the university to not turn on the heat every once in awhile?
- Oh my god, it’s 4:25.
- I am going to be late to class but I don’t want to leave these beautiful boys.
- OMG, this betch that slept with the entire frat just walked in.
- Honey, do so much less.
- I don’t think this girl likes me considering she also hooked up with my latest conquest.
- Awk.
- See you never, library.