This Time, I Choose Me

I have chosen you over and over again whilst taking the backseat of my own life. I have placed you above everything for longer than you deserved, but now I choose me and I’m not apologizing for it this time.

I choose my priorities, my passions, my pleasures and most of all my sanity. I won’t choose a nomad heart anymore, or someone that’s half in and half out. I choose me this time. I choose my full dedication to myself for myself. By choosing me, I have not lost a war because there was none. I have not given up on love, I have given up on someone who does not know how to love.

I choose my routine, my time, my effort and my gut feeling. I no longer try to convince people to stay or try to give them reasons to love me. I won’t choose silly hearts that play unfair games anymore. I choose my undivided attention to myself and the things that make me truly happy. By choosing me, I have not lost a grain of happiness because I have given up on someone who does not know how to sow it.

I choose my mind, my books, my education and my unending love for art. I will not try to be someone I’m not for admiration or imitated love anymore, I won’t choose love concealed as lust either. I choose to tap into my own sensuality and to restore the confidence within myself, by myself. By choosing me, I have not become lonely because I have given up on someone who does not know the true nature of intimacy.

I choose my heart this time. I choose its beat and its frailty, and I no longer let harsh hands hold it and run with it.