How To Deal With Hate Mail
By Emma Golden
I heard something once on a television show or maybe from a comedian, that went like this:
If you don’t have some people hating what you’re putting out there, you’re not doing it right.
It’s a twisted way to think and go about your day, but it’s oh so true. I’ve never been a people pleaser – this is not part of my character. I mean, I’ll please my family and friends because I love them. But, my actions and words come from a very unfiltered, unforgiving place. I is who I is, y’all!
That being said, when I received this hate mail on Friday, lecturing me on my vanity and self-centeredness for writing that Nordstrom letter when there are people dying across the world (no, really), my first instinct was to laugh it off and not respond. However, after posting the hate mail on Facebook, I was urged by a handful of people to respond and post my response. Awaking this morning with a strong need to take out something on someone, Miss Blair received an email from me.
Below is her letter and my response. Enjoy!
Hate mail:
Dear Emma,
I recently read your rant on how repulsive the fitting rooms are at Nordstrom stores and wanted to give you my opinion on your rant. I think you are incredibly vain and conceited to worry about such a small and pointless topic when there are so many other better things that you could be talking about in your useless conversation pieces. I’m sure that the starving children in third world countries would love the opportunity to be able to step foot in these “1980′s style fitting rooms” not to mention actually having the freedom of walking into a Nordstrom store with money in their wallet to be able to purchase whatever their heart so desires. Millions of people die everyday from disease, hunger, oppression. Over 100 died alone yesterday in the Ukraine revolt against it’s government. Our soldiers are still fighting for us in the Middle East and other parts of the world and this is how you repay their courage and sacrifice? Any other person in any other country in the world would die for the opportunities you have just belittled and what you take for granted everyday. That my friend is what is wrong with American society. I urge you to get a real job, maybe something in the customer service, government or public service to see how difficult it is compared to writing letters and sitting down all day behind a computer. That also helps with the exercise and staying in shape part that you admittedly don’t find attractive about yourself. All in all think about something and whether or not it’s really worth complaining about, get some self help/confidence classes, speak to someone born in a third world country and see how much better we as Americans have it and lastly get a gym membership so as not to stereotype yourself like the typical lazy American and get an extreme makeover so as not to blame Nordstrom’s “outdated” fitting rooms as the problem for not liking what you see in the fitting room mirrors. I’m sure you won’t have time to respond as I’m sure you are doing something important like shopping or comparing other fitting rooms from major brand name stores.
Good luck with your search,
Blair
Hate mail response, from me:
Dearest Blue-Blairy,
Can I call you that?
It just feels so right and sounds S’CUTE!
Listen. I got your letter – obviously. And I just wanted you to know that it really spoke to me. So much so, I spent the majority of my weekend laying in bed, silently weeping to myself. I went through a deep, introspective couple of days. I questioned my personality, my life, my purpose, my everything. Who am I? WHY am I? How could I be so vain and conceited as to waste any precious time in my day to do anything that makes me happy (i.e. write or shop), when there are thousands upon millions of less fortunate humans than me in the world? Why don’t I just drop everything I’ve ever known in this thing we call “life,” pack my shit up, and move to a third world country so I can actually know what it is to LIVE?
Ya know why not? BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO.
I am well aware that as a caucasian, Middle-Upper class, American girl I am lucky (although, I AM Jewish, which still makes me disliked by many closet Neo-Nazis, so I have that going for me). I am also well aware that the very reason I have the freedom I do to go into Nordstrom and spend money I don’t have on clothes that I pray look better on me in the right lighting is because of the American soldiers throughout the course of our great nation’s history who have fought so hard for this freedom I own.
I never claimed to be flawless. I never claimed to feel incredible about my figure and physique, only to have that confidence shattered to pieces upon entering a Nordstrom dressing room. If you don’t think I know I’m not perfect, you’re more delusional than I thought. But, as a woman yourself (I’m assuming you’re a woman? You could be like that one black actor man whose name is Blair but he’s a black actor man. Blair Underwood. That’s it. OMG – I wonder if he’s related to Frances and Claire Underwood? With all the twists and turns on that show, I wouldn’t be surprised!), you have to be able to admit that seeing one’s self under florescent lighting does nothing for self-image. I know my flaws – I don’t need them literally highlighted by overhead lights of a too-bright nature.
Furthermore, to say writing isn’t a real job is a steaming pile of pig shit covered in cow vomit. Question: how do you get your information about the Ukraine? Probably from reading articles, right? Guess what? Someone wrote those articles. Someone sat at a desk all day, gathering facts and information and sweating bullets to make a deadline and not fail you on what the latest goings-on are in the Ukraine. You wouldn’t be able to spitfire such ludicrous emails to me about anything worldly or otherwise if it wasn’t for writers who bend over backwards to keep you in-the-know. And, as a side note, writing for Thought Catalog isn’t my job. I’m a copywriter at a REAL job with REAL people who REALLY work – really! I, just like most people, need an outlet for creativity – this is where writing “silly” things like the Nordstrom dressing rooms post comes into play. Being a writer, I can write about anything I want. It’s pretty cool.
Comic relief is the name of the game. It’s a gift that not everyone has and what I believe to be something that needs to be shared with the world when one does possess such great power. Life is hard. Life can suck. So, every now and again, instead of focusing solely on all the horrible things and burying yourself into a deep, dark depression and realizing that even if you did, in fact, drop everything and move to Africa to breastfeed dying children it would make little to no impact on Africa’s overall status (BECAUSE IT WOULDN’T. YOU’RE ONE PERSON. START A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION BACKED BY OBAMA HIMSELF WHERE YOU FLY HELICOPTERS OVER THIRLD WORLD COUNTRIES AND DROP BILLIONS OF DOLLARS INTO THEIR LAPS, THEN WE CAN TALK)… it’s okay to log online and read a silly article about why I hate Nordstrom dressing rooms and allow yourself to realize the satire and laugh at it.
I just realized you may not even get this. You may be dead from your bleeding heart pouring out onto your keyboard and flooding you out.
May peace be with you and let me know whenever you get around to visiting a Nordstrom dressing room so we can exchange stories, Emma