27 Hilarious Times Anna Kendrick’s Twitter Was Literally All Of Us
By Kim Quindlen
So much incredible snark in such a tiny body.
1. When the had the horrifying thought that every one of us has had.
Oh God. I just realized I'm stuck with me my whole life.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 26, 2015
2. When she vocalized something we’ve all imagined before.
I've always heard that Tom Cruise is tirelessly positive and upbeat and I'd love to work with him one day. I think I could break him.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) June 14, 2016
3. This accurate summarization of what a lifestyle blog should actually be.
I spent the morning biting my fingernails down to jagged stumps. Why has no one contacted me about starting a lifestyle blog?
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) August 11, 2016
4. When we learned that she, too, treats her bed like a kitchen table.
Just spotted a Pop-Tart wrapper under my bed. That seems about right. #GrownWoman
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 13, 2016
5. Because we all want to be this person:
What's the earliest I can transition into an Elaine-Stritch-style, mean-but-fabulous old lady? Cause I can feel it starting already….
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 24, 2016
6. The worry we’ve all had after watching anything on ABC.
All TV dramas: "Everyone has secrets"
Me: "I don't have a secret. Do I need to get a secret???"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) August 8, 2016
7. When this tweet was funny but also incredibly true.
Excited about all these up-and-coming leading men. (And their future on-screen wives, who could be born any day now!) #Miracles
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 11, 2016
8. When she shared the question we’ve all been asked before.
Is it bad if your best friend sees you wearing pants without a drawstring waist and asks "What's the occasion?"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 31, 2016
9. The real reason we all need a relationship.
Relationships: because watching Masterchef alone is only 6% as fun.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 25, 2016
10. When this was the best way to describe the “Sorry” music video.
I just want to go live with the girls from the "Sorry" music video.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 12, 2016
11. When she had the best movie suggestion ever.
Real question: What are the chances I make it through #BatmanvSuperman without blurting "You guys should kiss though."
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 3, 2016
12. Because this question is honestly so real.
We're all pretending, right?
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 23, 2016
13. When she graced us with the best advice on how to order sushi.
Sushi people are such snobs. I ask for a California roll and throw my chopsticks at the waiter and suddenly I'm a jerk.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 23, 2016
14. Truthful relationship goals, honestly.
Hi, I'm Anna, I'm alone tonight and I'm looking for a strapping muscular man to come over because butternut squash is hard to dice. 😗😗😗
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 28, 2016
15. This.
Every time Beyoncé performs it adds five years to my life
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 8, 2016
16. The scary realization that every single one of us has been through.
In movies, when the super villain tells his origin story I honestly get worried because I relate so hard.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 26, 2016
17. When she admitted that she talks to kids like this, too.
Neighbor's 4-year-old child: Can Anna be the new babysitter? She chases me and shakes me and it's SO much fun!
Me: I WILL MURDER YOU!!!!!
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 21, 2016
18. When she said this and it was so real.
My life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing…God, what is that thing called…other people.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 15, 2016
19. The daydream we can all relate to.
I feel like being a lawyer would be super easy.
Other lawyer: "Objection!"
Me: "Withdrawn…"
*looks knowingly at jury*— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 6, 2016
20. Because it’s the little things.
I cut my finger and used a can opener one handed. I am Bear Grylls.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 14, 2015
21. Literally the scariest thing in the world.
If you call me on the phone I don't want to talk to you.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) December 23, 2015
22. It’s probably the latter.
Does the food network use music recycled from 80's porn, or do I want to fuck that soufflé?
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) November 25, 2015
23. When she explained this situation perfectly.
"you know me, I never cry" – a girl who is about to tell you a story where she cried about something stupid.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) November 17, 2015
24. Carbs. Carbs. CARBS.
I suspect that low-carb diets work not because they are healthier, but because without carbs I simply lose the will to eat.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) November 5, 2015
25. Yes.
Like, like an appetizer? pic.twitter.com/Z9JhDcAINK
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) October 28, 2015
26. Word is so pretentious.
I like how Word will underline a mistake, let me hit ignore, and 5 seconds later underline it again like "Ooo, sweetie are you sure?"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) October 21, 2015
27. Because we’ve all been through this.
Dear postmates delivery man: Two spoons? It's cute how you thought both these ice creams were NOT for me. Idiot.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) October 13, 2015