4 Thankless Struggles That All Women Who Are Realists Face

I won’t lie and tell you that I have always approached things in a logical manner. I also won’t pretend that I’ve never caught myself daydreaming about a “happily ever” scenario, pertaining to a situation that is completely out of my reach and most likely never going to happen.

That being said, most of the time I consider myself a very realistic person. Whether it’s regarding the workplace or relationships, I prefer to be honest with myself and fully acknowledge how a situation will probably pan out – putting my own hopeful feelings aside.

Does this sound like you? Then you’ll probably identify with the following struggles that us realists deal with on a regular basis.

1. Some (okay, most) people automatically assume you’re nothing more than a bitter, pessimistic, Debby Downer.

You’re always being told to stop being so negative and just “look on the bright side.” Well, you know what? Sometimes there is no “bright side”, no “light at the end of the tunnel”, no “silver lining”, or any other cliché phrase that I may be missing right now.

Realists prefer a rational approach, which is very different from expecting the worst – instead, we expect what’s most probable.

2. You’ll catch yourself feeling some type of way now and then – and immediately want to slap yourself in the face.

Whether it’s catching yourself smiling and re-reading a cute text message from the new boy toy, or sending something super sweet and completely out of character for you (heart eyes emoji… who am I?), this is always an enormous “WTF” for you. You typically think with your head over your heart, so it’s scary to notice yourself beginning to like someone a little more than you thought you would.

When this occurs, you will experience a nagging feeling that you need to be brought down to reality – even though your situation may or may not be the real deal. So you put a few walls up again to set yourself straight. However, a couple of vodka sodas later, those walls might start wobbling a bit (along with you on the dance floor.) Warning: Drunk, sappy texts ahead.

3. People may assume you aren’t creative or original – but that’s far from the case.

It’s not that you’re against dreaming big – you just know where to find that balance between aiming for the stairs and being cognizant of reality.

Your ideas are huge, and you wouldn’t dare to give up on them – but at the same time, you recognize inevitable obstacles like money and time. Realists know what could potentially prevent them from getting there – but that doesn’t deter from their strong will and motivation to keep going.

4. Your friends start treating you like their therapist – and you wonder if you should start charging.

Your squad can always expect the brutally honest answer from you, and you’re happy to give it to them – to an extent. The problem is, often times you end up finding yourself way too heavily involved in some complicated and even pretty twisted shit – and all you wanted to do tonight was sip some wine and relax.

Well, considering that you are now being pressed to analyze what some rando really meant by “Last night was fun”, your wine night has turned into whine night – and unless your friends find another trusty pal to “tell it like it is”, there will be many more of these to come. So next time your friends start treating you like you’re Dr. Phil, happily oblige – but also remind them to Dr.-Phil-up-your-cup.