I’m Scared Of My Teeth Falling Out (And Other Non Sequiturs About Control)

Apparently when you dream about your teeth falling out, it means you are experiencing some sense of powerlessness in your real, conscious life. Or it means that you’re vain and terrified of being flawed. Hm.

I searched for the meaning online because I know dreams about your teeth falling out are supposedly very common, and I came across a Huffington Post article that really didn’t give me any concrete answers—but I feel like Ariana Huffington has been parading around recently because she just re-discovered sleep or something, so I figured she would know what she was talking about when it came to weird dream analyses.

I think I’ve been dreaming about my teeth falling out because I am constantly surprised when I remember how people can exist without me.

It will never not be shocking to discover that someone who has met me isn’t immediately enraptured with me. I don’t think I’m necessarily a self-absorbed person—I am actually not that great, but still pretty funny—I am just so easily obsessed with other people that it sets me back a bit when I realize that’s not really how things work for everyone else.

Of course this applies to people who have walked in and then out of my life (messy exit or not), only for me to see a post or hear a story about them that sends me into a spiral of both rage and confusion. Am I dreaming about my teeth falling out because I’m vain and think people should stop living their lives if I’m not in them?

But it also just applies to the couple sitting across from me in this random subway car who are both clutching their backpacks in their laps and with their gaze so intensely fixated on the map of subway lines that crisscross across the city. They’re clearly visiting. They don’t know who I am and I don’t know who they are or what they’re doing here or how long they’re staying or if it’s the first time they’ve been here or if they’re in love or if this trip is supposed to fix things or what’s in their backpacks. I don’t even know what stop they’re getting off on.

Sometimes I nearly lose my mind while walking through crowds and realizing that millions upon millions of people are existing and living and have lives and families and pasts and friends they think are as important in the grand scheme of things as I think my life and family and past and friends are.

I am crossing paths constantly with people and none of us know it.

And then I go home and dream my teeth are falling out and I’m stuffing them back in my mouth and when I wake up, I have to run my tongue along the backs of my teeth—feeling the security of the permanent retainer my wretched dentist made me get five years ago because apparently my tooth roots are short which really doesn’t help my already established fear of my teeth falling out—checking each one for even the slightest wiggle.