Please, Don’t Be That Wasted Friend

For anyone who drinks alcohol, it’s likely you’ve been there: that night when you’re not careful about keeping track of how many drinks you’ve consumed or pounding them back way too fast. One minute you’re fine and the next you feel like death. You want to curl up in bed and with any luck fall asleep fast so that ~all~ you have to deal with is a regretful hangover in the morning.

In most cases, though, your body doesn’t let that happen. It needs to expel the toxins to keep you alive, and so you find yourself violently throwing up. You can’t hate your body though, because it’s doing you a favor. In fact, you should thank it! If there’s anyone to blame, it’s yourself for not respecting your own limit and literally poisoning yourself. But hopefully you only have to blame yourself for this ill fate once, maybe twice. Most learn from their overindulgent mistakes and vow to never let it happen again (at least not to that extreme).

However, there are those friends who never seem to learn. They are the ones whom you feel like you have to constantly watch at the bar. Even with keeping a close eye on them, you somehow end up holding their hair back at the end of the night or filling them in the next day on the details of the night they missed after blacking out. Laughing it off together the next day makes it appear less serious but doesn’t change how unsafe binge drinking is.

And so I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of taking care of my friends who can’t control their alcohol. In my opinion, the “wasted friend” title is semi-acceptable in college. We act understanding about it because “shit happens.” But after graduation? No way. If someone doesn’t have their alcohol consumption in-check after college, then I have no empathy for them. I actually feel pretty uncomfortable and irritated being around them in that trashed state, especially when they are unable to take care of themselves.

I want to go out and have a good time with my friends. I want to be able to have a beer or two and relax, maybe do a little dancing.

I do not want the night to be spoiled for us all when we are driving home and the overly intoxicated friend reaches for the car door, only to get sick on herself. I do not want to be wandering around the bar at the end of the night wondering where my drunk friend stumbled off to. I do not want to feel obligated to clean her mess up, and resentful she put me in that position.

Yes, life is a learning experience and we don’t all have everything figured out in our twenties. But that kind of behavior is something we shouldn’t have to put up with from our twenty-something friends. I’m tired of witnessing it and acting like it is fine.

I’m so sorry guys, she says *finally* after vomiting for the third time.

It’s fine. We’ve all been there, we all echo.

Please, don’t be that wasted friend.

It’s not cool. It’s not fun. It’s not safe.

It’s not fine.