When All You Need Is Your Father’s Hug

You are young and rare
and not the same
you are thinner
than your family
thinks you should be
were you happy
with them
of course
you were proud
you’d like to give
your father a hug
but he has looked at you
and he has said
you’re killing yourself
and you were
already
disappearing
that summer he stayed on his wing
of the house and organized
his years
as a Boy Scout into
a shadow box mount
he stepped out of his home
office only when he went onto
the sun deck and pissed in the yard
you couldn’t get used to
seeing him
that way
and that was the point
because he was mad
at you
because you were
starving and did not see it
that way
he was afraid
because our children
make us question everything
when they are trying
to forgive what we would not
acknowledge but
hug me father
I am walking into your arms
I am showing up for dinner
so my mother can feed me.